Hello! I'm a first time user, didn't know something like this existed - this is wonderful.<P>I have been married for 23 years and my husband left 3 months ago to move in with his girlfriend - he's 50 and she's 29. I had to hire a private investigator to find out where and with whom he is living. We have an 18 year old son and a 20 year old daughter, and he told him to page him if they needed to talk with him. He has deserted the family - in 3 months he's called maybe 3 times and came by maybe 3 times to see the kids and he only stays for 10-15 min when he does. <P>He started acting wierd in January and kept getting progressively worse. Of course, this is the 4th time he's done this but has always come back home and I have forgiven him the last 3 times, not counting number 4. For a little background, he is a police sgt. and the affairs he's had have all been with police women, including #4. He says he wants a divorce this time because there are too many issues and we could never work thru them. He has adamently said NO to counseling. He says our problems stem from me, he is taking no blame for anything. I really think I love him still, even tho everyone says forget the loser. Easier said than done after all these years. On the other hand, I'm, tired of being made a fool of and think maybe I should trow the towel in this time. Even if he came back - would he do it again?<P>Would love to hear what you think. Any opinions welcome.<P>Stormy1<P>------------------<BR>Stormy1

My only comment would be that this sounds like a classic case of Mid Life Crisis. You might want to do some research on this.<P>HTH<P>

Hello Stormy--<P>You'll find helpful acronyms and starter stuff in <I>Just Found Out</I> forum...<P>Read all you can about the MB principles on this site and, if you can, the Harleys' books, <I>Surviving an Affair</I>, <I>LoveBusters</I>, and <I>His Needs/Her Needs </I>. Also, since this is multiple affairs, you might want to check out Dr. James Dobson's book, <I>Love Must Be Tough</I>...he tends to take a stronger position on affairs from the get go...I'm a big reader so I tend to read a lot of opinions before I make a decision...<P>You will find lots of support here...sometimes the weekends are slow...just keep posting and/or bumping your post to the top and eventually you will get responses.<P>Good Luck,<BR>Cali<P>------------------<BR><I>Live Impeccably In Your Word.<BR>Don't Take Anything Personally.<BR>Make No Assumptions.<BR>Do Your Best Always. </I>

Hi Stormy,<P>I love your name, Hon.<P>I am a BS who was married to a serial cheater also. I want to respond at length to your post but I have to get in the shower right now. I'll get back to you as soon as I can, okay?<P>Love,<BR>Jo

Hi Stormy1, I am also M to a police officer, 26 years together, 18 year M. I have 3 children 15,12,9, he moved out a week ago. I found out about A 2 months ago but he was seeing her for over a year before I found out I was totally devasted, I knew something wasn't right that year but he keep denying it over and over and I believed him! I eventually found an e-mail from her to him and he was having some hot and heavy A with her. He is now living with his parents I am not sure if he is still seeing OW.I don't know if my H had any other A.H says he doesn't want to work things out, he gives the same reasons that your H gave for wanting to end the M. I know this isn't helping you but I wanted to let you know I know how you are feeling. My prayers are with you. Love Sally