Well, (sigh), where to begin. There is so much I have left out of my story with you guys, I don't know where to start. So I'll start over. I have been married for almost 13 years. My weight was out of control after having babies, and going through depression a couple of times. My H apparently had a HUGE problem with that, but never told me. He just thought I should know. Well, I didn't. Now, I'm having to file for D just to get money from him for kids and bills.<P>Anyway, I told you all that my H had multiple affairs (one-night-stands, or so I've been told). I told you that the reason he fell "out of love" was due to my weight, of which I have lost 78 lbs, and look great now. I told you that he was reconsidering divorcing me. I told you that he decided he wanted to divorce me a couple of weeks ago. I told you that I've had it, and I'm ready to move on, and meet other people, and leave him where he belongs - with God. Let God deal with him.<P>What I didn't tell you is about my husband's apparent history of coveting his brother's girlfriend's/wives. You see, the first time H and I were separated, he told me he committed adultery. I found out two years later this was not true. The truth then was that I apparently didn't keep a good enough house. Well, I won't even try to defend myself on that one, except to say I was left alone every day of the week, worked a full time job, had two children under 3, and H never helped. House was as clean as I could possibly keep it. It doesn't matter anyway, because now, years later, I found out it was my weight all along. <P>The part I left out was that it was suspected that during our separation, H and ex-sister-in-law had an affair. No one ever admitted it to me, but ex-sister-in-law apparently told my BIL this "lie" to hurt him. BIL went to H and held a knife to his wrist and told H that if he didn't admit it, he would kill himself. So, H had no choice but to say it was true. H had to live with this lie for 7 years. Now, ex-SIL says they never slept together, but made out. Well, in my book, that's still adultery, but that's not even the point. H and I had a wonderful marriage after this, or so I thought. He spoke to everyone about my weight, but me. He even told my ex-SIL, and she never told me what he felt. Yes, I should've lost the weight on my own, but H could've prevented all of this if he'd just been honest.<P>Anyway, a couple of years ago, my BIL meets another woman. She's alot like me in her beliefs and morals (or so I thought), except she was a short blonde, with a much bubblier personality that mine. I have long suspected my H had feelings for her, because ever since we met her, and my BIL moved in with her, he became distant with me. Well, my BIL has a bad habit of sharing sexual intimacy details with his brother. You'd think he would've learned from his last experience with his first wife to keep this info to himself. It always finds its way to my bed. Anyway, I suspect H started fantasizing about this woman. She became my closest friend. We had so much in common. She loved my BIL immensely, and then he left her, hurt her immensely. She has two sons also. My H decided to step in and play Daddy. It got to the point, even before BIL left her, that H was there all the time, spending all his time there, and her kids even called him "daddy" from time to time. She and I, of course, corrected them.<P>Well, after BIL left her, he realized he made a mistake, but it was too late. H had already left me, and began an elaborate plan (BIL and I suspect) of pursuing her. He kept going over there, knowing how it hurt his brother and me. His whole family told him it was wrong. His mom & dad (dad's a pastor) told him it was wrong, brothers told him it was wrong, I told him it was wrong, and my oldest son told him it was wrong, but he wouldn't stay away. My friend kept letting him come around. Of course, everyone suspected they had feelings for one another for months before all of this took place, and then this. She wouldn't tell him to stay away, even knowing how it made me feel. She said it wasn't right. He was her friend, too. She was trying to convince him to come back to me. The thing is, I don't (or didn't) really think anything happened between them, but felt, and still do, that he was having an EA with her without her knowledge, or perhaps with, but without her admitting it to herself. <P>Well, a couple of week's ago, when H decided to split up with me, I told him to stay away from her or I would make sure my niece couldn't live with her anymore (that's a whole other story). H said okay, but continued to go over there, saying I wasn't visiting her, so he could. Oh, she has been working at the same location as him since August - he got her a job. Anyway, they went to the movies together last weekend with my middle son, her sons, and my niece. Son says they didn't sit together, but that was the last straw for me.<P>I told him that I didn't need friendship like that. She knew how I felt, and she continued to be around him. They knew how my kids felt, and they continued to be around each other. I told my H that the reason everyone thinks he has desires for her is because he has chosen her over his entire family - forsaking all others. Even his 3 sons.<P>I know now in my heart it's true, especially since I heard through the grapevine that he fell for her when he first met her. I feel so stupid. I feel so weak. I feel so hurt - by both of them. They continue to deny that anything is happening. He treats me like I'm nothing now. Like I am just a big mistake in his life.<P>I can't get this whole LB thing under control. I don't really want to. I am angry. I want him to know just how angry I am. I wish they would just quit hiding the affair, and get on with it, so I can at least have justification that I was right all along. She has known all along how I felt, and she still continued to let him come around. <P>I have been betrayed on so many levels I can't even fathom why people would do this to me. I am a good person. I have always been loyal and faithful and good to my husband. So much so, all of his brothers have envied us and have more than once said they wish they'd met me first. They weren't kidding.<P>This woman cannot have a successful relationship with my H unless he disowns his whole family, because they WILL disown him. <P>I've been doing really well lately, but now am very sad today.<P>Thanks for listening!<BR>TIG
