My wife(ws) just left.She says she still loves me but does not seem to have any desire to live with me...or the kids anymore.I know,its fog but it sure does suck.When she left,I just had the feeling that she is never coming back for good.<P>Weird,last week I felt really good about things,now its just the opposite.

My wife told me and the kids that it wasnt goodenough being Mrs.Bear and it wasnt good enough being a good mother .<BR>yep it sucks she told us this almost 3 months ago , not much has changed youll have days that are alright and youll have days in the dumper. After all of my work in this time I still cant see at times her ever coming back . Its part of the game we have to play. If you love her I mean truley love her hang in there . Talk to these people on this BB<BR>they will support you when times are down and the will cheer when your days are up. A good bunch of folks.

Hi owen I know it's hard. I feel your pain my friend. There will be good days and bad days. Just remember you are still there and your kids need you. They will always know that daddy is there for them. I know it sucks the lonely nights, not having someone to share your life with. I look at married couples now and I am so envious of them but I also realize that it could happen to any couple. Hang in there we are all here for you. You are in my prayers tonight.

Hi Owen- I take it this has all happened in the last few months (D day, finding MB?). I'm sorry, I checked your profile and see you got here last month, but haven't read your other posts yet...I know that is an eternity in this stuff, but believe me, it takes a lot of time and patience. (we all hate to hear that, but believe me, it is the truth). Try to hang in there, work on yourself until you really really like yourself (heck, everyone can improve in some way right?)Believe me, I'm still working on it and it's been 2 years nearly for me (I am the BS too). It's gonna be hard, but if you want to save your marriage, walk away and work on yourself, and don't LB as much as you can. And Please, take care of the kids, they really need you now.<P>Prayers,<BR>Debbie<BR>

She left in may.She did not tell anybody she was leaving,she just left for work one day,it was over 2 weeks before I found her.She had gotten fired from her job for sneaking around with the om on the clock.A friend of my moms told me she saw her working somewhere so I called her.<P>I found this website through a net friend but did not find the forum until a while later.

Oh Owen - how awful - but you realize there are other things going on here, right? Do you think she may have had a mid life crisis (may I ask her age?) or had she had a recent tragedy in the family?

Hi Owen, I feel for your situation. However, I agree with everyone who has replied. Maintain your faith and your Plan A efforts. Become stronger, believe in yourself and your abilities and hold your children tighter than ever. Stop expecting anything from your wife and start focusing your expectations more on yourself and your relationship with your children. <P>It's tough uphill climb but the battle for your love and marriage will be worth it. <P>Just read all of the recovery stories on this board and be inspired. Also, pray...<P>Lots of Hugs...<P>

Hey owen,<BR>{{{{{HUGS TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY}}}}} Don't give up on God, He has not given up on you. He is strenghtening you and let's just keep praying for your wife. Let's pray that OM will love bust off the charts this week! You're doing a good job with the kids. My heart is with you, it's not easy raising special needs kids and dealing with all the intervention and teachers being married let alone by yourself. I hope that is going all right--getting the kids ready for school every day, keeping them fed and happy, housework, etc. You're SUPERMAN! Maybe you could start a workout program for yourself while the kids are at school.

Hi Owen,<P>Have strength, man. You're doing a fantastic job. Being a single parent is tough - whichever way you look at it - and you're getting by. I know that my boys keep me going - they've helped me and my W stay together through our difficulties. So, it does surprise me that a woman can walk away from her responsibilities. I thought the bonds were stronger.<P>If she's been gone since May, that's 3 months. Was there no indication before this that something was amiss? Hasn't she tried to contact you or your kids in this time? what does her mum and dad say?<P>keep talking to us owen, we're here for you <P>- Freddy

Well,there is some stuff in her past,her mom walked out on her and her dad(so people say) melested her at a young age and she never dealt with it.The counseler said theese are why she is gone.<P>She does not really have any contact with her family anymore,not since she left anyway.Her sister and I talk alot and she is pretty upset about what is going on.She is 25 so I do not think it is a midlife crisis.<P><BR>As far as contact since she left,she is over once a week or so.She says she still loves me,infact,thats how she put it last night..I still love you.As far as me seeing somthing was up before she left.I dont know.I knew somthing was not quite right but she was working tons of overtime(so she said) and about the only thing she did at home was eat and sleep.She lost alot of weight and was pretty crabby for the few months before she left(affair stress I suppose).<P>Somtimes I wonder how I can still love her,but I do,alot.My family thinks I am just crazy for letting myself continue to go through this,and sometimes,on days like yesterday,I do too.Hopfully there will be a nice "payoff" soon.<BR>

I think it is vitally important to be extremely careful to choose who you talk to. This board is usually pretty safe. It doesn't help to have family who don't support what you are trying to do. Will they read any Harley material?

I think it is vitally important to be extremely careful to choose who you talk to. This board is usually pretty safe. It doesn't help to have family who don't support what you are trying to do. Will they read any Harley material?

I really do not go into any details with anybody but my best friend,He went through the same things with his first wife.With her sister,it is more of an update type thing.She just wants to know how my wife is doing and how we are doing,I do not really go into any details with her...or really anybody other than my best friend and this board.

Yesterday was interesting.I called her in the am to make sure she was comming over,she said she was.Well,last night I was getting the kids to bed..still no sign of her..Which ticked me off because I was out of diapers and needed a few other things from the store.<P>My daughter was half asleep and so was my son,all of a sudden knock knock..it was her.<P>No lb'ing at all went on last night..no why are you so late getting here.I just got the kids dressed and we went to the store.We had a really nice visit.On the way home from the store we were talking about getting a new car when she comes home...??? I dunno,I was just suprised at that.<P>She only was around for about an hour but we held hands,hugged and kissed more times in that hour than we do on most 3-4 hour visits...???<P>So now I expect her evil twin to be over on the next visit...hopfully not though

It can't be easy for you, but she averaging at least one good, hefty love bank deposit per week, ey?<P>How are all the fish doing? Everybody still alive and flopping?