Brief history again: H had PA with OW in 1994 which resulted in us being apart for 2 years and he lived with her for 4 + months during that time. <P>THIS TIME d'day was 6/1/2001. We separated and I filed for divorce. I remember checking his email account in July. There was an email there from a good friend of his who was telling H to leave the B---- alone. H was saying how sorry he was (ALWAYS IS). He also said he talked to her earlier this year and that she is getting married. <P>1) He doesn't know I read this so he doesn't know I know there was actually 4 contacts in the passed year. <P>2) Why wouldn't he tell me she is getting married to give me somesort of reassurance?!<P>

Maybe he didn't think about it. Maybe he just said it to his friend to get him off his back about OW. Maybe he doesn't think it's important. Maybe he forgot or hasn't thought about it since that time. Maybe he thought it would start an argument where you wouldn't believe him:<P>Example:<BR>H: I thought you should know OW is getting married.<BR>W: Oh? And how do you know that? Have you been in contact with her again? Why would you all of a sudden tell me now? You must still be in contact with her and she just told you, otherwise why wouldn't you say something sooner?<BR>H: I can't win.<P>If it's bugging you that much, NH, just admit you read the email and ask him why he didn't tell you, then you will get your answer.<P>If you are afraid of being radically honest and telling him what you did, then that's your issue and you can't really hold him responsible for not realizing how important it would be for you to know that OW is getting married.<P>HbH

Thanks hurtbyhubby, please read my other post too. <P>Your right... he probably doesn't remember.<P>Plus last night I asked him the same 3 questions I have asked him before<P>3rd degree without lb<P>1) where were you the night of (in) February when you said you were at work but stopped calling at 10:00 and didn't get home until 2:00. the same answer... at work<P>2) what is the truth about he other email account? again the same answer... he doesn't use it and hasn't since Dday.<P>3) last time yall went out was there any pysical countact? again his answer... maybe a hug<P>Well o.k there is no way for me to ask these questions without lb. Insanity - doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result... asking the same questions over and over and expecting a different answer.<P>I am wrong, I am crazy, I will make it up to him. Do I owe him some sort of apology for "going there" again?<P>

You are not crazy, you are just not very trusting of your H right now. Do you guys have any type of plan in place to try and restore that trust?<P>If you've told him you wouldn't bug him about that stuff again, and you did last night, then yeah, I'd say you owe him an apology. It wouldn't hurt anything just to give one, regardless.<P>Perhaps you can put closure to the issue by saying something like:<BR>"I'm sorry I bugged you about that stuff last night. It was wrong for me to keep bringing up the past and asking you stuff over and over again. I'm sorry. I just don't want it to be 6 months from now and you come back and tell me things that you've kept hidden, or secret. I don't want any more revelations. I just want the truth, all of it, even if it hurts, so I can know that I won't get bit again several months from now. That is why I ask the questions, because I fear the answers have changed and you did not tell me, and that really scares me."<P>Then it is your job to stop bugging him just because you don't like the answers he's giving you.<P>HbH

once again, I copied and pasted. thanks. <P>I will be radically honest about the email next week. I will try and be upbeat and positive for a week without talking about issues. Give him something to be happy about. <P>Have you read my other post? i will go check.