Thanks for the advice bentherdunthat (I think I missed a letter or two in there) I'll try that. Don't know why I keep having these problems with this software.. Good lordy, I fix computers (well, maybe that's why I'm laid off). Any rate, I think Bill Gates just sits back and chuckles as he watches this stuff...You out there Bill? phfftt (that's diragatory) (just in case you are)

Hi EyeswideOpen,<BR>My H got laid off after 14 years at the same place last Sept. He thought the world came to an end at first. He would fight with me and say I wasn't being supportive when I thought I was. (I took it as he just wanted to take his negative feelings out on me--it was rough for a couple of months anyway. ). He had a few job interview around here, there's not much around here for his experience and they wanted to offer him less than half of his old job. I told him NOT to sell himself short as he was worth so much more.<BR>One of the contractors at the old plant had asked him if he wanted a job with his current company and I told him to check it out along with a few others. He could wait on the decision because he did have 6 months of severance pay and I started working 4 days/week at the time. So, I think the best resources are connections with people you know who know other people. They can vouch for your work ethics, experience, etc. It turned out that now the people who were left at the old paper plant are on several production cutbacks/month. It really was better for him to have been let go at that time because at least he got some severance pay. The rest don't get anything but a smaller paycheck and have had to take all the laid-off people's positions/jobs in addition to their own. Still it was a difficult thing to go to at the time. I'm praying for you. Hang in there, something will turn up. The people on this board are survivors!<BR>Mikkey

Thanks Mikkey for your your response and kind words. Luckily there are plenty of jobs in my area in my field (I'm in DC suburbs). I know I will find something shortly...but I only have 2 weeks and that puts quite a stress factor on things. Plus, not having interviewed in 15 years makes me quite nervous. My major problem was the lack of support from my WH...wouldn't hug me and told me it's only a job, get over it. ARGGGGH. His lack of compassion was like a stake through my heart. How can he be so, so... mean!

I'm so sorry your H said that to you. Gosh... To me that sounds like the mind of a person who is probably not very emotional in general tho, am I right? What I'm doubting is if your H ever wears his emotions on his sleeve? Actually what he said was not bad really because it's true. It's just a stupid job, it's not your whole life only about 1/3 of each day you spend... However, I think if he took a minute to explore your feelings through a brief conversation, he could have encouraged you instead of turned you off.<P>Well, consider yourself hugged again from me. Our hugs will have to do for now until your WS comes around. It sounds like you still love him a lot? Or else it wouldn't hurt so much. So it's not time to give up on him yet, my friend!<P>But talk about adding insult to injury--yet, I think you'll be emotionally stronger through it all. Just hang in there. I believe God is giving you an opportunity to look to Him for all your "hugs" right now.<P>And, I know exactly how you feel about interviewing after 15 years. I believe that is about how much time I had invested when we all were being sold to a new company. A bunch of us were forced to interview with an outside contracting company and it was very nerve-wracking. THEN, they made us feel terrible with a bunch of rejection letters just before the holidays, but in the end, nobody lost their jobs and some of our friends who hired on with the outsourcing company got laid off a year later!<P>My point is that you might be feeling rejected right now but it could be a strategic move of God to shift you into a better position--maybe something a thousand times better than what you had!!! (Maybe that "dream job" with better benefits, better savings/retirement plans, better hours & flexibility, better environment, better boss, better location, better paradigm, or all of the above?!) Keep your head up girl, you're doing fine! <p>[This message has been edited by BINthereDUNthat (edited October 01, 2001).]

EWO<P>If you were around I would give you one of my boy's famous bear hugs. Sorry about you non-hugging WS.<P>I have a similar story. About a month ago, I was putting my boys to sleep. We always say to each other before they go to bed - I love you. We say it over and over. My oldest boy then said to me "mommy does not love you". My jaw dropped. I asked him why he would say something like that? He said because "mommy does not hug or kiss daddy anymore".<P>I went to my WS and told her that story. I said that it would not hurt to give each other hugs every once in a while. Her response was "I don't want to give anyone a sense of false hope". Can you believe she said that. It like telling the kids that Santa does not exists.<P>Take care<P>Dino

BTDT and Dino - thanks for the responses. Things are looking up today with a lot of prospects. (job wise that is). As I was saying to someone else who posts here regularly and who I hope I didn't piss off, how can someone who loved you enough to marry you and have children hate you so much when you weren't the WS? ARGGGGHHH.... I mean I could understand if I hated him...he screwed around on me...but I DON'T hate him. I love him. But he apparently hates me or finds me offensive...I just don't get it.

Geez Dino and BTDT (hope you don't mind the abbreviation, just can't get the spelling scheme correct), I just re-read what dino wrote...that sux big time... and you are still hangin in? (and this is coming from me? queen of hangin in?) Reference my other posts where I horned in on jdmac's poetic dance post... Can I send butterfly and her frying pan over? (oh, wait, was it butterfly or fairydust). At any rate, she had a heck of a twwwaaaacccckk. Why do I think I'm only making sense to me? oh well, I have been quite sleep deprived....well not deprived, just insomnia I guess... <P>

ok BINthereDUNthat (now I got it right, I copied and pasted). You are right...my H is the most unemotional, callous person) but he didn't used to be that way. That is what is so confusing. I can remember him crying in my lap over various awful things that happen througout life... I won't go into details. Wish he would lean on me now (and I really need someone to lean on....) Thanks to you all.<BR>

Well, ewo, of course I don't mind the abbreviation if you don't mind. Did you see that one funny FUNNY post where someone was going to abbreviate StillHanginInThere(?) but they decided not to? OH, that made me laugh so hard... Still does... LOL!<P>Anyways, I hear ya. It sounds like your husband has hardened his heart over the years and probably because he has been hurt. Maybe even by you? I know, it's difficult to accept that WE (wives) could be the ones inflicting the hurt, but it happens. I pray that he will come around and be back to his old self again. Hold out for your REAL H, because evidently you KNOW he's inside there and I think that gives you a reason to preserve your love.<P>I hope you got some sleep today, well yesterday... Have fun with your job search and I wish you renewed energy and guts to handle your upcoming prospects! GO GET 'EM!<P>p.s.Methinks you have plenty of shoulders to lean on out here in MB cyberland. {{{{{hugs}}}}}

Thanks BTDT - I haven't been on the board today. I have a couple interviews set up for Thursday. Wish me luck. I have emailed nearly every person I have ever worked with and things may be looking up. H is still acting like such an ahole. Sorry, but he is. He is irritated that I slept until 10:30 today (got up at 8 to get the kids dressed, but he took them) (but shoot, I guess I shouldn't be getting any support from here in the wee hours when I can't sleep), said I should be out looking for a job. I had been on the computer non stop from 10:30 until 3 and then 4 until 7. I must have sent my resume to 50-60 people. This from a man that literally sat in the basement from October through December last year after he voluntarilly left his job. Almost threw us into bankruptcy. What, am I supposed to be going door to door, excuse me maam, can I fix your computer...having any printer errors lately? ARGGGGGG. BTDT - picture the reflextions in the mirror, shadows, windows....<BR>

GOOD LUCK. I'm sure you'll land something very soon. You're doing great with the job finding thing, from the sounds of it. All that effort will pay off. I don't know you but I'm proud of you.<P>Keep it up.

You know, I really should be asleep...(see my thread to medic)... anyway, THANKS Rick..how nice of you. As I said on a different thread, I have my first interview since 1989 tomorrow morning so wish me luck! I need a lot of crossed fingers here, okay?<P>night!<BR>Debbie<BR>(do I hear...go deb...go deb...go deb.. yes, I think I do! Thanks guys!) (oh, please just bear with me)...

Just wanted to remind you to let us know how the interview went. Keep your options open! You have choices now!!! Cool!

I start a new job today...Wish me luck. Hang in there EWO, things will improve.<P> jd

eyeswideopen & jdmac1 I am pretty new to the MB but I wanted to wish you both good luck on your job interviews. Hope you get the jobs. Let us all know how you make out.