Tonight WH came over to see the kids he hung out with them for awhile and I was watching TV he came into the living room and sat down and tried to start a conversation with me. I answered his questions tried to be nice. He was looking at a fundraising catalog that the kids brought home from school and ask me to pick something out said it would be my Christmas gift of course he said that was suppose to be a joke. The kids went to bed and I said something about having a craving for pizza so he said order it and he'd pay if I would pick it up. So I did. He hung out didn't really talk about anything in general and watched TV. It was actually nice we didn't talk about us. I just don't understand as long as we don't discuss our problems he is great. Why won't he deal with the real issues? If I didn't ask any questions about our M or our future I could see him being here more often. Not sleeping here of course he's only done that once in the 6 mos. we've been separated. He still provides for us financially and will do pretty much what I ask for the kids or things around the house. Could he be going through some type of mid-life crisis. Re-evaluating his life? He's only 37. He confuses me so much. My C seems to think that he is trying to break the old me. Wants to have the control in our M. I'm not sure what he's doing. Has anyone gone through a mid-life crisis? What are the signs?

cybil--<P>My H is 37 also, and I would love to know the answer to this question, too.. I have often wondered if my H is going through a Mid-life "crazies" too. Anyone have an answer???<P>Krystal

go to <A HREF="http://www.bestyears.com." TARGET=_blank>www.bestyears.com.</A> and go to the forum.<BR>It is amazing what mid life crisis can do to a marriage.

Hi Cybil, I haven't spoken to you before, but have read many of your posts. I mainly lurk. My husband has just turned 36 last week. I am sure he went thru mid life crisis last year, at 35. Our doctor is sure that is what was wrong with him. He was very very strange. Always talking about being a failure, not being good enough, not being where he wanted to be (financially). My h mess's things up big time though because he has quite a drinking "problem". He was put on anti depressants, and of course you are not supposed to drink with them, so not only did they not work they made things worse. Oh, and just to make things worse he went and had an affair, with a revolting pig type woman. (Can you perhaps guess I'm not quite over it yet?) I feel now, at a year later things are finally beginning to get better in my mind. It was a very confusing time. Our doctor told us that 35 is a very dangerous age, for men and marriages. I do believe he was very very right. I think mid life crisis and depression are very much linked, and very similar. Only with mid life crisis he came better in the end without drugs. (after swapping the anti depressants 3 times we eventually stopped using them, as they were making him even stranger, and tired, sleeping all the time. <BR>I can only recommend to you that you look up all you can on midlife crisis, and see if any of the symptons look familiar. It is a very very confusing horrible time.<BR>Take care cybil, just hang in there!!! <BR>heartsore.

I too think my STBX is going through a mid-life crisis. He just turned 30 in May and things changed drastically. We were, or I should say, I was trying everything I could to make the marriage work, he chose not to do anything on his part. He tells me that he likes his freedom and doesn't have to answer to anyone. Its like he turned into a monster overnight. I filed for divorce because that is what he wants. I'm not sure exactly if he really does or not. He won't admit if he's wrong anyway. Maybe one day he will realize that he made a mistake but it will be too late.

cybil,<P>I posted a couple of links which may be helpful for you in SAU's thread.

Mine was 35 when he had his A. Mid life crisis big time. He even admitted it after the fog was over. He kept saying "I just wish i was in college again. Everything was so simple" "I just can't handle the responsibility of being married and having a family" Stuff like that. So he hooked up with OW and started hitting the colege bar scene (he must have looked like such a dork), smoking pot and even chain smoking cigarettes. He was too blinded by his newfound youth to realize that what "Little Miss Goodtime Party" REALLY wanted was a husband and a stepdad for her kid lol.

Thank you for all the replies. A mid-life crisis seems to be the only logical explanation for my H's behavior. I am definitely going to check into some information on this. Off to work so have a great day everyone. OBTW had to call H this morning because the pipe in the basement was leaking again he is so nice again today. Told me to have a good day and he would be over after work to fix it. I just don't understand his moods!<BR>C

My H was 36 when our troubles got so much worse. I think in his case it was midlife crisis & depression mixed in with the skinny, too-friendly & available blonde.<P>A book that helped me & that deals some with infidelity along with MLC is YOUR HUSBAND'S MIDLIFE CRISIS by Sally Conway. There are 2 other by Sally & her H Jim WOMEN IN MIDLIFE CRISIS & MEN IN MIDLIFE CRISIS. I found the YOUR H's to be the most helpful of the 3. She basically outlines Plan A, in yet another form.<P>------------------<BR>Lor<BR>"Whatever is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, gracious...think about these things." Phil 4:8

Maybe it has something to do with the ozone layer??? I think men are having these a lot earlier than normal. Most of the time it seemed like when they hit 40 started going baldetc that all the stupid srap started. My H is 35 but has been acting like a porno attict for th e last couple years. He really acts like he would be happier if he was young and single again.<BR> Granted we had a lot thrown at us in the beginning. We both had custody of a child from our first M and then had 3 kids in 3 years after we got married. But good greaf I was there too. You don't see me trying to hook up with some guy over the internet.<BR> Just makes you want to shake some sense ino them. Where are there brains by the way. Anybody seen them??