My W is WS, d-day 7 months ago. I bought lots of books, spent lots of time on MB and Plan Aed. W seems happy, everything seems back to "normal". I tried to explain how these things work, what I need to be happy and what she needs, she tried to read books and tried to understand but is not interested in these things too much. Basically, she falls asleep if she sees one of the Relationship books now. I think we have no "connection" and no communication but I can't keep repeating it, I think she should know by now how I feel about our relationship. Her theory is just to wait till everything is ok by itself (don't ask me how). So I feel like I am going to a withdrawal stage really fast. Like, I stop caring about our relationship. I am just indifferent and nice to her, that's it. No deep feelings, no energy to improve anything, I don't want to "teach" her forever when she doesn't want to. Any ideas what the next step is? how do you not go into withdrawal?<BR>Thanks in advance.<p>[This message has been edited by Ivan (edited September 27, 2001).]

Hmmmm...from what I've learned in therapy. You have to just spend the time working on yourself. Try not to pressure her at this point. You can't make her change... all you can do is change yourself for the better..and IF it doesnt work for this marriage...it will help you in the long run.<P>My H and I sometimes take long walks...and we can talk some then. Maybe that would work for you??? Again, I wouldnt pressure her into sharing alot of emotion right now, doesnt sound like she wants to do that at this point...good luck....<P>------------------<BR>..climbing the rainbow..

Hi Ivan,<P>You need to take care of you. Your W may need recovery space. She is at home getting adjusted back to her family routine and life. You need that adjustment period also. <P>You really can't force her to read or do anything. I do understand about your feelings. I am dealing with this myself. <P>Take Care,<BR>L.<BR>

Hi Ivan,<P>Long time no see. Sorry to hear how things are going. I know you have tried very hard. The advice people are giving you is good. Work on yourself and Plan A her. Perhaps she will come around, if not then at least you will be a better person and be ready to move on.<P>Z<P>------------------<BR>He loves not who does not show love.<BR>----William Shakespeare

Thanks everyone. Yes, I am not trying to change her, not at all, it is just sad that she is not changing. I think she is pretty much back into our life and shee seems happy but again, what do I know if there is no communication... anyways, thanks again.