Hi you guys? I hope everyone is having a great day.<BR>Well I don't know if you remember me posting here sometime back... I have been getting on here for 5 months just reading and seeing if listening to the responses and advice you give others helps me. <BR>MY situation is my moods changing all the time. My boyfriend and father of my 3 month old _together for 4 years_ cheated on me he says three times with this new found friend of his.. they new eachother for a month.<BR>He has a problem with alcohol and drugs.. and now has been away from me for 6 months - d-day was the end of april- in a rehab which I think is great we needed this time away from eachother. I am a very angry person now and sometimes think I can get over this, but it is very hard trying to talk about it with him just through letters and a two hour visit. <BR>I know he is sincerely sorry and wants us to be a family with our child .. not like both of our parents which had horrible relationships with eachother and ended up in divorce. <BR>I have voiced my very strong opinion about how betrayed and hurt and angry I know am and could not believe he could do that to me after all the love and support I gave him. <BR>His answer is only - I let the alcohol control me- I had no feelings for her and I can't believe I could have done that to you. He doesn't even understand why!??? But I feel I have had no closure and knowing that I should not bring it up so he doesn't have to think about what he did with that slut.. I still find myself writing him or asking him the same questions all over again. <BR>I asked him for details which I know I REALLY don't want to know, and he said why would you want to think about that.. it is insane. <BR>zi can't get over that our intimate relationship was supposed to be ours and only ours and I value faitfulness to the extreme as well as honesty and for two months that this went on I was lied to continusly, abandoned, betrayed, and uncared for. He swears up and done he would never do me wrong again.. even put his hand on the bible. I feel like I can believe him because he sees how much he hurt me and that I keep telling him I dont know what I am going to do... we are at a point that I feel we aren't toegther at the moment and I have never ever broken up with him. I can tell he knows I am serious this time. <BR>I told him I think we should go to counseling and get on this website and stuff and he is more then willing.<BR>Should I believe him? How do I get past this anger and hate? One day I find myself almost reading to love him like I did, but images come in my head and I get discusted all over again. May I let you know he cheated on my while his child was in my stomach.... that really angers me to no end. <BR>I just don't know if I could make love to him and actually enjoy it knowing he "screwed" someone else. <BR>Please make comments and your interpurtation about my situation. <P>thanks, ally <P>
