I can't forgive myself for cheating on my husband. I think that I am more hurt than he is. I cry more than he does about it. Part of me says to stay and work it out because I married him "for better or worse", I know God despises divorce, and I feel like I owe him that since he's never done a thing in our 6 year marriage to hurt me this much. But then part of me says to go because "God will forgive", and we will heal, but most of all, I want to go because I know in my heart that I don't truly love him like a wife should love a husband.<BR>I am hurt and don't know what to do.

Your feelings of guilt and remorse are far more than most wayward spouses feel. Most have gone so far in their relationships with another person, that those feelings don't even exist in their hearts. They don't regret their actions, and would do them again. They also never intend on ceasing their actions. Such is the case with my wife.<P>If my wife had your attitude, I'd be far more willing to fight for my marriage, but she doesn't.<P>Your husband, while most likely deeply hurt and betrayed, is lucky to have a wife who is able to clearly see the affects of her actions, and is able to apologize for them. You have the roots for what it will take to rebuild a happy marriage. It would be a shame to throw it all away.<P>It's not going to be easy, but it is definitely possible. You can be happier than you ever have been.

I understand all too well the feelings of remorse that you are having. I became very attached to a coworker this past year and ended up having sex with him one day. Things had not been going well between my husband and I and when this friend started paying attention to me, I was flattered. Almost immediately after the fling my family moved to a new state, yet I still found myself attached to this friend. We emailed back and forth and although I tried to stop, I found that I missed hearing from him so much that I resumed emailing. That was my biggest mistake. I finally realized that I needed to let go of him, first because I could tell he had already moved on, and second because even though my feelings toward my husband are ambivalent I knew that I couldn't even attempt to work things out if I continued to write to this guy. <P>Don't give up on your marriage so quickly. Take your infidelity as a sign that there is trouble and see if you can first resolve it. I never told my husband about my fling, but I did tell him I had found myself attracted to someone else and had come close to separating from him. We have been married over 20 years and I know what it is like to question your love for your spouse. I think that this is a normal feeling after infidelity. <P>Hang in there. I am still struggling. I have days where I just cry and cry, and I can't stop thinking about this other guy even though I now know that my feelings were much stronger for him than his were for me. I am currently seeing a therapist to help me get beyond this, have you thought of doing the same?

H CynthiaAnne;<P>I haven't thought about counseling. My husband and I have been talking it out really well amongst ourselves. I just don't want to hurt him anymore. I love him, but not like I should, but God is working tremendously in this marriage.<BR>We have improved alot in this six months. I feel the love for him inching back. But I think that sometimes the sight of me irritates him because of this, and I don't want to hurt him.<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by CynthiaAnne:<BR><B>I understand all too well the feelings of remorse that you are having. I became very attached to a coworker this past year and ended up having sex with him one day. Things had not been going well between my husband and I and when this friend started paying attention to me, I was flattered. Almost immediately after the fling my family moved to a new state, yet I still found myself attached to this friend. We emailed back and forth and although I tried to stop, I found that I missed hearing from him so much that I resumed emailing. That was my biggest mistake. I finally realized that I needed to let go of him, first because I could tell he had already moved on, and second because even though my feelings toward my husband are ambivalent I knew that I couldn't even attempt to work things out if I continued to write to this guy. <P>Don't give up on your marriage so quickly. Take your infidelity as a sign that there is trouble and see if you can first resolve it. I never told my husband about my fling, but I did tell him I had found myself attracted to someone else and had come close to separating from him. We have been married over 20 years and I know what it is like to question your love for your spouse. I think that this is a normal feeling after infidelity. <P>Hang in there. I am still struggling. I have days where I just cry and cry, and I can't stop thinking about this other guy even though I now know that my feelings were much stronger for him than his were for me. I am currently seeing a therapist to help me get beyond this, have you thought of doing the same?</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>