Well I will start from the beginning. In the last month the first thing I found was blood in my husband's underwear, not mine, or his. He went to the doctors and they found nothing wrong (which I knew they wouldn't). Then the following week I found a pair of socks in his work bag, one of which had dried up sperm on it, explanation from his was he masterbated, and it was a clean way to do it. Question was why not in the shower or something since you were supposedly home. No answer from him. Then just last week I found a cassette tape in his drawer in our bedroom and it had love songs on it. Explanation from him was that he made the tape for us a couple of months ago and never finished it. I asked why he didn't play it for us and he said that he had forgotten about it. I think there is someone else but I need him to admit it and I don't know what questions to ask so that he will. I need him to admit it to me or I need to see it. Please help me!

proof?? i think you have your proof.?? id imagine you are in a bit of denial....need CONCRETE proof?? i know the feeling...<P>search your heart and search his life. that is my advice. the sooner it is put to rest the better. although like it has been said here......WS are mastermind liars and deceivers......and that is the truth. we lie and lie until the lie just cant fit no more.<P>IF it were me, id not have sex with the H, id go to the Dr. for some routine tests, i cant say that id be willing to chance that he is/isnt cheating and chance an STD.<P>there are tons of ways to check on people, but like it has been said here.....becareful of what you look for, you might find it.....<P>good luck,<BR>mercy<BR>

Some other signs to look for are increasing time away from home, increasing time on the computer, more attention to personal appearance, and increasing expenses. All that does is to make you more sure in your own mind. <P>If in fact he's having an affair, that has to come out in the open before a recovery can begin. Don't expect he will ever admit it, unless you confront him with undeniable proof. I wouldn't bring it up again, until you can do that. Start looking at credit card receipts, phone bills, etc. Start checking his cover stories, quietly, without letting him know.<P>Computer and phone snooping is possible, but as Mercy said, you might get more detail than you really want or need. Try simpler methods first, just to answer yes/no, who, and when.<P>Just from what you said, it's possible there is something else going on besides a physical affair with another woman. But I agree that he's hiding something.<P>- Tom