I know you are, and you have a perfect right to be. You have been unbelievably patient and loving, and put up with more than even Mother Teresa would, well maybe not her, but close.<P>{{{{{{{{{{ Dumplin }}}}}}}}}}<P><B>YOU DON'T DESERVE THIS!</B> <P>I'm glad to know he'll be gone when you get home from work, cuz otherwise I fear he'd be packing his bags for good, instead of for the week-end.<P>Jo<p>[ October 19, 2001: Message edited by: Resilient ]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>and a lady up here put that she had heard of his band from his wife and HE ERASED IT<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Just another thought...it doesn't sound like she knows the band already herself...that might have been the only reason he erased it.<P>Erasing "wife" would have hurt me too, but that might not have been how he was thinking about it at all. It's just that from that comment, she can't testify as to how good the band is. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]<P>Laura

Here's his reasoning: If a person he's trying to book with or get a contract with goes to the site, he doesn't need all the posts on the guest book to be personal. He has to keep a separation between business and personal. Fine, that's a good enough reason for me.<P>I walked in and didn't even say anything and he knew I was upset. I even tried immediately going to the bathroom so I wouldn't have to talk to him before he left, but he came down the hall to talk to me before he left and asked me why I was mad at him.<P>Why am I always the bad guy? I wasn't the one that told her to sign it that way. I didn't see a problem with it myself. If anyone wants to go sign a guest book for a band, go to <A HREF="http://www.aaronowens.com" TARGET=_blank>web page</A> but don't put anything personal on there please. It only gets me in trouble. He's also fixed it where you can only choose certain answers on that question.<P>Feeling pretty sucky right now.

I agree, I think his reasons are very credible. We should have thought of that I guess.<P>So, Dumplin ... tell me why you feel sucky. Is it because we jumped to conclusions, or other reasons?<P>Oh, here's my H's website. He's a Single Act: <A HREF="http://members.aol.com/StvMerriam/" TARGET=_blank>http://members.aol.com/StvMerriam/</A> <P>Jo<p>[ October 19, 2001: Message edited by: Resilient ]

Because we didn't think of it, because somehow it always ends up being my fault. I'm just tired I guess. Yes, his reasons are legit, but we're also talking about the guy who can explain his way out of anything.

Jo,<P>I checked out your H's website. Looks pretty good. I'm a little confused though--are you still married or are you divorced?<P>Anna

Hi Dumplin,<P>I am definitely D now. I keep forgetting to refer to him as my XH tho. <P>Also, my H is working a conventional job now, as well as playing solely on the week-ends.<P>How are you doing today, Anna?<P>Jo

You know how it goes. Up and down. One step forward and two or three backward. It seems like when I'm trying he's not and when he is I'm not. How are you doing?

Hi again, Anna.<P>Today is a particularly bad day for some reason. Alot of my H's stuff is still here, and in the D papers he only asked for his personal belongings. So, I'm suppose to go thru all of it and pack it up. <P>It hurts terribly. <P>I ordered a very large dumpster and I'm sifting thru this stuff. There is so much junk (two rooms full). I have already filled the dumpster 3 times (have it for a month) and this is the last week I'll have it. All of this music stuff is very hard to go thru, brings back memories. <P>I seesaw between feeling so very sad to feeling very angry. During the angry emotions I start tossing things that I maybe shouldn't [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] , last week I did that alot and I had to quickly drive back home from work and dig it outta the dumpster before they picked it up. [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] <P>So anyhoo ... that's my WONDERFUL week-end. Ughhh.<P>Wish I could stop crying and just get it done.<P>Jo<p>[ October 20, 2001: Message edited by: Resilient ]

Jo,<P>I'm so sorry for you. I can't imagine how you feel. I'm at my mother's for an improptu family reunion. My stepdad's son is in town for the day (I've never met him) so I'm over here with a bunch of people that I don't know. I'll keep checking in with the site though. I'm so sorry you're having a bad night.<P>HUGS to you!! If you need me, just holler. You've been there for me so it's my turn to be there for you. Hopefully, I'm as good as you are.

Thank you, Anna. I'm doing better. I mowed the lawn and that snapped me outta my pity party.<P>Have you heard from H today? <P>I remember all the years my H would go on the road on week-ends. He'd get home usually on Sunday afternoon, and we'd have a really nice sit down dinner that eve and go to the movies and snuggle, then come home and play Battleship or Backgammon (I'd sometimes cheat cuz I could see his ship placement in the reflection of his glasses, he'd pretend that he didn't know, but he did [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] LMAO!), I loved those days, and miss them. <P>I hope you're doing better, and regenerating your positive Plan A energy for when your H gets home. You and your family are in my prayers, Anna.<P>Lv,<BR>Jo<p>[ October 20, 2001: Message edited by: Resilient ]

Yeah, he's not staying at the club this weekend. He came in this morning about 3:30 complaining because the Jeep keeps overheating when he's pulling the trailer. He's gone now, but he'll be home again about 3:30 in the morning. Still at my mother's listening to all the noise. Thinking about heading home soon.<P>I'm glad you are feeling better. H doesn't wear glasses so I couldn't cheat, but he'd probably beat me anyway. I'm no good at those kinds of games-more of a cards person. Talk to you soon. I'm here if you need me.

Jo,<P>How are you doing? Haven't heard anything from you.<P>Anna

Hi there ... [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]<P>I'm home sick today. The flu. Ughhhh ...<P>How are you, Anna? Is your H working this week? How are you two doing? Better, I hope.<P>Jo

The flu? Yuck! Well, I had to go get a Depo shot this morning--right in the butt.<P>H is working this weekend, but he'll be driving and not staying. We are doing better except he seems to be testing me by doing things to annoy me. He says he's playing, but he knows it is things that drive me up the wall.

Hi again Anna,<P>I have a question for you. Do you consider my H leaving me as "abandonment". Some have used that term ... it just sounds so victim-like to me.<P>Maybe, I'll post a thread asking All this question.<P>Jo

I don't know the actual legal terms of all of it. What was the situation? Did he leave you with all the bills and no support? I would think that would be considered abandonment.

Okay, I need some help. I have told H that I would "back off" and quit "b**ching at him all the time". Today when I came home, I went on the internet to do a search. As I was typing the search site, our computer filled in the search site with "her name" as the search criteria. I was not looking for anything (even though H won't believe that), but why was he searching for her name? He hasn't talked to her in two months according to him so why look for her on the net??? What should I do? Should I even bring it up or just let it slide?

Anna,<P>I'm apprehensive in saying anything on this one, cuz last time my instincts were way off.<P>But you know what? I'd say you just let it go. Worse case your H was just killing time and did an internet search on her name. Doesn't mean he had contact or anything else ... all it proves is he was perhaps bored and curious.<P>Whatcha think, Hon?<P>Lv,<BR>Jo

I don't know what to think. I think I'm going to let it go though because if I bring it up he will think I was checking up on him when I wasn't. He won't believe me and he'll just get mad at me. Once again, it will be my fault and he did nothing wrong. I did get him today though. He told me the other day to look at some other musician's websites that everyone knows are married. He said that their bios didn't mention anything about their wives. He specifically mentioned Alan Jackson and Tim McGraw. Well, I called him on his bluff and proved him wrong. He hasn't said anything about it and I'm not going to bring it up either.<P>How are you feeling?