Hi everyone,<P>It is good to have the forum up and running again. <P>It has been a tough few weeks for me. Between work, the kids and all their schedules, and my emotional state...life isn't the most pleasant right now.<P>My H has moments where he is a little like his old self...and then he lamblasts me with his cold, hateful behavior. <P>He wrote this week that he wanted to help me with the house--finish the things he left undone, work on the finances, and help with the kids schedules. He said he would also buy me a new van----IF I got rid of the restraining order. He said that it is all a matter of trust. Do I trust him to come and help. He said that he would come to the house to help get things in order when I was at work. We wouldn't have to see him. He asked me about 5 times if I trusted him. He said he trusted me.<P>Well, I thought about it. He was here all last week with his OW. He paraded her around the base and around town. People saw them everywhere. <P>I decided that this isn't about him caring about me or the kids. It is still about him. What would make him feel good about himself and make him look good in the community's eyes. He also wants his son. I thing that based on his past behavior, he would bring her to our home. I can't live with that. <P>So, I decided to tell him that no, he couldn't come near the house. He wrote back and lambblasted me saying that it was as he suspected--I am a vengeful, vindictive person. He wrote a whole page of awful things. Tonight he called and was hateful on my answering machine. I didn't call him back. <P>This is still so sad. I hate this whole situation. I go in next week to sign the interogatories. I hope I feel better when the legal work is finalized. I never imagined that my life would turn out like this. Take care everyone. Pat <P> [*]null

Hmmm, I wonder why he wants to get into the house so bad??? Have you done a reconnaissance mission on your h's belongings???<P>Also I guess the restraining order won't look good on his file...well too bad. He made some choices and has to live with the consequences.<P>You mentioned he paraded OW around...boy that must have been hard. I live in another country from my H, but I think he is parading her around now I'm gone...just by the lack of contact I have with a mutual friend. Ah, I don't really care...it will die a natural death anyway.<P>Keep your head up mim, he is angry cos he didn't get his own way, that's all. So he threw all his toys out of the cot...<P>Love and light,<P>Jacky

Good hearing from you Nina!!<P>What country are you from again? I guess I could go look...but am too tired tonight. How have you been doing?<P>I don't know what he wants to get into the house for. The only thing I can think of is that he still wants to be a part of this family, he misses the kids, and he feels like this is still his home. The only catch is that he doesn't want me.<P>Ohhhh...that is hard. He shows no shame or remorse for his behavior. We have been in this little town so long...we know pretty much everyone. Everyone feels he is a real jerk for what he has done. I get calls and hugs and support from everyone. That is nice. But, I would think it would be uncomfortable for him. But, evidently it isn't. I think that is so sad. It hurts the kids too.<P>For the first time in our marriage, everyone knows what has happened. Guess he has to act ok in order to face himself.<P>As for the house, I think he just wants to keep his relationship with us. I think he wants to show everyone that he is not such a bad person. His image is really important to him. It is going to be awful when he finally gets visitation rights. He will have the kids with his OW on day 1. What a great future to look forward too. How could I have been such a naive person to put up with him all these years. I feel like a fool.