Just curious ... any BS has OP that is very skilfull in filling all EN of WS ? How do you win the war ?. I am lucky that OM is not skillfull or lack of it, I see my chance the moment I sized him up.

Hi R,<P>Well not sure if this is what you mean but the OW in our situation seemed to be pretty experienced in what she was doing. Started out with her and her friend playing a sort of game on the internet of who could get a man first. Well, Ws just so happened to correspond with both. The OW found out that the man they both liked was H and OW turned on her friend and said hands off. Go figure, the real OW is what her friend saw. <P>H swore that OW was really a nice but misunderstood soul. hm...... In reality, OW has proven to be a very mean, selfish and greedy person. One who like to threaten when she does not get her way. Blackmail, threats, whatever, I wouldn't put too much past this one. She is a coward and a bully all rolled into one. <P>Now about her EN skills. Yep, OW used to whisper 'sweet nothings' in WSs ear to the point that WS even spoke like her. It was scary. The character my h turned into was HER!!!! [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] Not just meeting the ENs but actually taking over his thought pattern and personality. I swear it was her thoughts coming out of his mouth even to the choice of words. <P>How did I know that? Well, I read their e-mails and hear some of her messages. Especially the ones she left for me and her e-mails to me. The same hate and even phrases were rehearsed and executed. Kind of a like a planned attack. Weird. <P>Depending on the character of the ow, how devious they choose to be, some Wss become more of the dummy than they realize. <P>L.

my WS's OM is lacking a few of my W's EN, given time they will have problem. OM only fill in one of them that I was lacked of. What I am curious is if OP is very good at identifying WS's EN and filling all of them so that left no room for BS to work on. All WS is taken by OP but if they are good/skillfull and have genuine interest for the long haul you might headed for trouble. [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by redhat:<BR><STRONG>All WS is taken by OP but if they are good/skillfull and have genuine interest for the long haul you might headed for trouble. [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img]</STRONG><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Hadi,<BR>This is where you are mistaken. They DO NOT have "genuine interest for the long haul..."<P>See, you're talking about an UNfaithful S, <B> AND </B> a sneaking, conniving OP who don't CARE about hurting anyone else's feelings, etc. They will NOT make it because their A is based on deception, lies, sneaking, hurt, etc. See? Eventually, they will "turn on each other" and the WS will see the OP's real character, <B>and/or</B> your WS's guilty conscience will kick in, and they will hate what they are doing to their (and your) lives.<P>Good luck.<P>Lupo

My H OW met a lot of my H EN. But like Jennifer said,they did not live a life together. It was fantasy, euphoria, lust, and all. The OW, this is her 2nd physical affair, which denotes a weakness in her brain. The OW, called and threatened me with suicide if my H and I tell her H. Talk about someone coercing someone because they didn't get their way. The OW, wants to keep this a secret from her H. She is supposedly suppose to be a great christian, I wonder what God is telling her with the 2 physical affairs she had. She even taught a christian class during the affair with my H. Then finally decided to quit. <P>I heard my husband, say to her many times on her cell phone, I love you. Yes, he started to talk like her. I have heard her voice over and over, when she called me 3 times to threaten me with suicide. <P>Yes, the WS are all in a fog, they turned their personalities into the OP. I wonder if they actually see the changes that occurred. I didn't realize what the change was, but reading this post has put a new title on this one. Hopefully, the WS will see the harm the OP has done, and state that they are regretful, and sorry for the affair.

Ya know...<P>There is no war to be won.<P>Plan A is NOT about winning your spouse back from the OP.<P>Plan A is NOT a competition with the OP.<P>Plan A is about taking responsiblity for yourself, for your part of the marriage, and doing the very best you can to demonstrate your willingness to change.<P>When or IF the A ends, THEN you have a history of changed/improved behavior that will encourage the spouse to return.<P>Your spouse may choose to end the affair before its died a natural death. Or not. But there's no "winning" or even "losing" - you aren't in competition!<P>Obviously the OP is doing SOMETHING that we BS's weren't doing - and its obviously something we need to figure out and improve upon. But it isn't until the affair is over that we have a chance to win back our spouses.