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Joined: Nov 1999
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SNL<P>You keep saying you are a Christian man. On what tenets do you base your claim to being a Christian? Are you Christian because you merely say you are or are you Christian based on what Christ has told us it is to be Christian?<P>I'm so curious about this continued claim of yours,because your words don't reflect Christian beliefs in the least.<P>As always, I know you realize I intend no disrespect. Just trying to understand you and MAYBE (big maybe) help you in some way.

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Def of a Christian......<P>If you believe Jesus Christ is the son of God, that he lived, and died for our sins, you are a Christian....I believe that.

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OK SnL,<P>You are right. I have been judgmental and I am man enough to say I'm sorry! I know that you are going through a lot too. You have a lot of choices to make and me trying( you see the word trying don't you) to blast you doesn't help with your decisions, do they?<P>Let me tell you a little about me. First off I was born in Monroe, LA. I was the last of five children. My mother was too sick to take care of me due to a prolonged illness. I spent my first two years living with my aunt and uncle who I thought was my mom and dad. My mother spent those two years in a hospital in New Orleans fighting for her life while my dad was trying to make ends meet. <BR>I went through terrible withdrawals after my mother was well enough to take care of me. I had been taken away from my "mom and dad". I still have issues with that to this day. <BR>I spent the next 3 years trying to have normal childhood. My father worked overseas and my mom was in and out of the hospital. <BR>My sisters tried to do the best they could but I was the wild one in the family and was always looking for something to get into. (I have always been the adventuresome one in the family) <BR>My dad decided to ship us all down to South America so my mother would not have to do too much around the house (we had maids) <BR>We moved from country to country till I was 14. Then we moved back to the states. I finished high school at the age of 17 and went straight to college. Not to long after that I met my wife. Got married and went to work and going to school at night. <P>Looks like I am getting off the subject, sorry! I will answer your questions now, or try to.<P>First, yes, I am third generation oilfield trash, born and bred! My grandfather worked for Texas gas as an operator. My dad worked for BP as a production manager. And me, I am a Petroleum engineer for Halliburton. I am the head field engineer for the research and development group. <BR>So much for the ignorant redneck huh!<BR>I will tell you this though; I am a very simple person and get lots of satisfaction from the simple things in life. <BR>I have been all over the world and seen, tasted and smelled things that you can't get from your dictionary.<BR>I have eaten just about everything that crawls, swims, flies and runs at one point or another. <BR>I have stood on top of a great Inca city in the middle of the Andes mountains and drank Coca tea with the locals.(Surely you are a history buff, you know where I am talking about) I have watched polar bears catch seals in the Beaufort sea.<BR>I have watched kangaroos bounce around in Australia. I have watched the sun rise and set over the great pyramids.<BR>I have seen things that you have only dreamed of. Things that would have brighten your heart. But there again I have some things that would shake you to your very soul. <BR>I stepped off a plane in Nigeria, Africa and my whole life changed. I cried for weeks. I saw people dead in the streets and cars running over them. I witnessed a man bound and a car tire over his shoulders filled with gas and ignited. Do you know what burnt human flesh smells like? It is a smell that I still can't get rid of! I saw children bought and sold as common as cattle. I have seen children dead and dying on the streets. <BR>I have seen people beaten to death in the name of religion on the streets of Belfast Ireland! I watched helplessly while a boat sank right by the rig that I was working on. Twelve men that never got the chance to see or tell their loved ones how much they meant to them.<P>I watched a man get cut in half with a cable that broke under tension. You know what that mans last words were? As he bled his life blood away he told the medic to tell his wife and kids that he loved them and would forever! <P>I have only lived for 31 yrs but I have "lived" more years than that. <BR>You have me, I don't use fancy words and I live a very simple life and have very simple<BR>Needs but I chose to be that way because I find out the more I know, the less I understand. <BR>I just found out about a year ago about partial birth abortions. Do you know what that is? <BR>I always wondered why people were killing Dr.&#8217;s at these abortion clinics. I knew they were killing embryos but I didn&#8217;t understand they were also killing fully developed babies. <P>I guess what I am trying to get across to you is that I have seen and felt a lot of heartache and pain in my life, more that the sheltered lives of my small town neighbors that think life is what they see out their back door. I think that ignorance is bliss to a certain point. I would want to protect my family from the horror of my memories, and I do. I have never told my wife or my kids about all the bad things in this world, only the good things. Why would I want to put them through things like that?<P>What I am asking from you is to step back, look at the pain and suffering that YOU are causing and put a stop to it! <P><BR>That&#8217;s all I ask!<P><BR>Regards<P>RN<p>[ October 15, 2001: Message edited by: Roughneck ]

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SNL,<P>So are you saying that all it takes to be a Christian is a statement of belief in the items you mention or is being a Christian entail more than merely stating a belief?

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Oh SnL, <P>About my sister! Yes I think she got what she deserved. But I think she is smart enough and young enough to learn from her mistakes and make a better life for herself.<P>As far as her husband goes, well, there is only so much time that a person can wait around until all their love for that person is gone and the marriage is unrepairable. That time period differs from person to person. She tried to come back months after the divorce. <BR>You might want to think about that!<P>Regards<P>RN

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Hey Roughneck,<P>I couldn't help it. I had to say, "Howdy," from another Halliburton family in West Texas! (almost 30 years)<P>Estes

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They have paid my bills for as long as I could remember and I wouldn't change a thing as far as who I work for.<BR>They have done more for me than they will ever realize. Even through they would probably dock my pay if they knew that some of that time was injoyable. Hehehe!

Joined: Apr 2001
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mrttbard....So are you saying that all it takes to be a Christian is a statement of belief in the items you mention or is being a Christian entail more than merely stating a belief? <P>snl...Of course not silly. You have to BELIEVE it, but you asked for a definition, so I wrote it down, did you expect telepathy or something?

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I'm almost scared to jump in here but I have something to say.<BR>First I am the BS,M 28 yrs. 14 months from dday and recovering with my remoreseful H.<BR>I HATE divorce,I never wanted anything other than to be M to my H BUT...<P>I am the child of a couple of divorces..we three kids turned out fine. It CAN happen. My mother and father D when I was a baby,he was never a part of my life again. I had a wonderful grandfather, a terrific uncle and a couple of stepfathers,one of whom I still see. My father made a choice and I never missed him because I never really knew him. <P>Maybe when it happens to you young and you have other people who love you and are willing to step in...I think it makes a difference. Certainly, I would never have CHOSEN divorce but I never chose an A either. And my kids are fairly grown, the youngest is 19.<BR>I am NOT advocating divorce at all but it is not ALWAYS the end of the world. My brother and sister and I had other family members to love us..my mother basically flitted from man to man...and more important, we had each other in a bond that is lasting.<P>Now my Hs parents were M 38 yrs, their whole lives. And HE'S the one who had the affair..he's the one who was an alcoholic for 22 yrs. He's the one with self esteem issues.<P>Go Figure...

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I know what you mean WoundedOne...<P>I'm not saying that my siblings and I didn't turn out okay...we are surprisingly whole...but the situation was not optimal and my mother, by her own admission, thinks now that perhaps she and dad could have worked things out.<P>BTW...SnL...she left my dad for another man, though she says that he had affairs when overseas...I don't know...it's a part of 'too much information' for me...as I became my mom's confidante and helper way too young...never really had a childhood...<P>And, my H's parents have been married 40+ years...he too is the one who had the A and has self-esteem issues...well, so do I, but I guess not in the same way...<P>Cali

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Cali...you are wonderfully OK...and a D is not the best for any child but I guess I want to say it doesn't have to be the big destroyer in every case. Us kids liked it better when my mother was married, if she was happy. But when it was bad, we didn't always know why ...but we always knew it was bad and the bad was horrible for us.<P>You know, those midnight fights and the crying all night. Anger and tension all day. It really sucked...although we hated the parade of men,when she wasn't M, it was almost better than the bad marriages.

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<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Resilient:<BR><STRONG>Long time no see, FHL. You have been missed.<P>Such very wise words offered to SnL, and for myself as a struggling Christian as well.<P>Thank you,<BR>Jo</STRONG><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Hi Jo!<P>Thanks for the kind words. I was thinking maybe my post was invisible [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]<P>I am most often on Emotional Needs now, but I check in GQ and recovery now and then...<P>I hope you and Lora are still looking out for each other!<P>The last several posts have considered the impact of D on children. Certainly this is a valid debate, but I think SNL's post about living for his children, actually NOT living for his children, was more about whose best interest came first (what that "best interest" is in any given situation may be debatable) than what he considered was in their best interest.<P>Even if you conclude that D is not the end of the world for kids, and in some situations it is not the end of the world, I think it still matters how you come to your personal decision. I think it is possible in some cases to honestly put the welfare of the children first and still conclude that D is the better option, although I don't think that is true in most cases.<P>It struck me, that SNL was putting himself first. I think most parents put the kids first. That is why I wondered if he was always like this, or this was a function of the whole affair/MLC mess.

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Ok, I have to admit I totally skipped page 2 and most of 3 in these postings. Simply because it was more of the same. For the record for the most part I disagree with SnL. The words seem to come from a truly SnL guy.<BR>I just had to wonder why a highly intillectual guy such as SnL has exhibited is reparing furnances and is Sad N Lonely? I wodner if it is because he holds such a dim view of life? Ok so maybe he doesnt but he seems like a poster child for prozac.<BR>Is there nothing positive to find amongst his posts? In the first page of posts between SnL and Cali is that SnL is a bitter lonely man. How very sad you can not see the forset for the trees.<BR>I mostcertainly will keep you and your family in my mind and prayer journal. I hope you are willing to feel the peace and love God can provide to those who accept it.<P>If you recall I prefaced this post with I hadnt read ALL of the postings. If I am beating a dead horse just ignore me and go about your day.

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