Okay let me clear some things up, yes I was assuming that the OW was on her menst, and yes he admitted to having some fun alone time when it came to the sock. Maybe I am just letting my imagination run away with me. He does have a doctors appointment with a specialist tomorrow I will let you know what they say. In the mean time I guess I will keep my eyes and ears open. I still don't know where the cassette tape with the love songs on it came from. And I also have been getting alot of hang up calls everyday.

I don't like the sound of this ... the phone call/hang ups and that Love Song Tape ... these are pretty typical A signs BUT .. the most reliable radar you have is on-board .. it's your instincts. What do your instincts say, Denial? What does your GUT say?<P>Jo

Denial,<BR>My D/D was 01/17/01 & I my WS confessed to haveing PA's with two guys, which started on 07/20/00. I was suspious soon after they started & my suspions increased, but as you infer I was also in denial & was just about ready to give up my investigative strategies when I made discovery.<BR>I think I may heve referred you to this websit before, but here is a website which includes "28 signs of infidelity." Most of these are logical, but if I had reviewed this prior to my discovery I might have made discovery earlier.<BR>There was something I did, whichmany might say is unfair or disrespectful or unehtical. I got a telephone recording device from radio shack. I did not figure out how to tie it in to the main telephone line until after D/D, so I just had it connected to a phone in our den, which she rarely used. If you have the courage & can cancel this, & if you are out of the house when he is home alone, if he is having a raging A, this might be the way to confirm A.<BR>May be too far out there??<BR>IMHO, if there is an A, they are certainly not showing us any respect.<BR> <A HREF="http://www.infidelitysupportnetwork.com/home/homepage.htm" TARGET=_blank>http://www.infidelitysupportnetwork.com/home/homepage.htm</A> <P>My prayers are with you!<BR>HH

Thank you for your advice on tapping the phone, but I have done that and it worked for awhile, but I got nothing. Then he found it and turned it off, and never said a word to me about it. And I didn't say anything to him either. I guess I will just wait, and I am sure that some day a mistake will be made on his part or the OW part and I will find out. Thank you too for your prayers, that really helps!

Hi denial,<P>I asked a couple of q's on your other thread, did you read it?<P>Love and light,<P>Jacky

I found it in the front of his underwear, and he also missed his appointment with the specialist, he said he over slept.

So Denial ...<P>Don't mean to pry but, you gonna make H another appt.?<P>Jo

Whoops, sorry .. double post. [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img]

Hi, <P>Does your phone company have a feature/service that allows you to trace the calls? Let the phone company know you are getting these calls and they can set you up. There may be a minimal charge. <P>L.

I was going to make him another doctors appointment, but he says that he is a grown man and can reschedule his own appointment. Seemed upset that I made him one. He is a really good talker and sometimes he has the ability to convience me that he is not having an A. Tells me how much he loves me and how much our marriage and life together means to him. We have only been married for 3 months, but together for 3 years. I want so much to believe him. But my gut feelings won't let me.

((((((((((denial)))))))))))<P>The gut feeling thing.<P>I had it a lot. And I kept pushing it away....oh I am such an untrusting person, I thought. And H told me that.<P>Well guess what? My gut was right.<P>Hon, you know your H better than anyone else here, and if you think something is going on, you are more than likely correct. As someone (Sorry forget who) likes to say...if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, it's a duck.<P>He is obviously not ready to tell you...so you need to just assume the worst and decide on a plan of action....bigtime Plan A would be good and see what improvements you notice.<BR>No LB's, or as few as you can manage, and just be the nicest little wife you can be. Find out his EN's, by thinking about it if he won't tell you, and work on those.<P>And remember at all times...this man in your H's body is not your H. They get taken over by aliens and do their own thing to such an extent, that you will not believe what you see, hear, feel, discover. But you have to be the one working on this marriage, if you want it to survive, and that is very hard to do when it is only you.<P>Go with your gut...it will never steer you wrong. Too many people ignore their gut instincts, only to tell themselves later "I KNEW IT!!!"<P>Forewarned is forearmed, don't you think?<P>Love and light,<P>Jacky

Denial<P>Go with the advice from Nina Too. I denied the A that W was having for 13 months. I was putting 2 and 2 together and when they equalled 4 I was saying..."nah, can't be...she wouldn't...I trust her." Wrong! Time and time again I let her off the hook. Caught her emailing one night..she slammed the top on her laptop down and I just let it go. She came home with her lipstick smeared after a (supposed) work function...I just let it go. My guts told me otherwise, but I didn't (wouldn't/couldn't) believe them. Well, f*** that from now on. For your own sake please please don't let denial rule for as long as I did. My thoughts are with you.<P>Snerty

Thank you for the advise. It is really hard for me to go with my gut feelings when he is such a smooth talker, and not to mention we just got married. The latest thing that he said to me was.... I have had opportunities but nothing came of them.... I am married to you and love you. But then I found his pay stub from Friday and he should have had 16 hours over time and he only has 13 hours over time. I have been trying to find a way to ask him about this tonight and not sure what to say

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by denial:<BR><STRONG>But then I found his pay stub from Friday and he should have had 16 hours over time and he only has 13 hours over time. I have been trying to find a way to ask him about this tonight and not sure what to say</STRONG><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><BR>Denial,<BR>You are good! To keep that kind of record or track of hours!<BR>This is a sign on the website I refered you to -- perhaps print up list from website -- you'll see several matches!<BR>This could be indirect, objective kind of data, but somewhat conclusive.<BR>Best Of Luck!<BR>HH