About one month ago, I found out my husband was looking at a pay-site for porn on the internet. He only paid the $1.95 for a 3 day period, but it still p***ed me off that he would waste our money on that. He is the betrayer. <P>We have always had a good sex life (except during the affair). We have even occasionally watched adult movies together. But after the affair, I couldn't look at the stuff. <P>When he realized how much it upset me that he was looking at it on the internet, he said he was sorry and didn't realize how much it would upset me. I assumed this meant he wouldn't do it again. Well, tonight, I pulled down all the things that had been looked at recently, and guess what I found? An internet site where he can look at this s**t for free!<P>This really upsets me especially since we have been getting along so great recently. I am really scared this means he is slipping back into old patterns. I'm scared. Am I making too much of this? Could it just be simple curiosity or should I be worried?

please help guys! I need to know if I should confront H in the morning. He is working tonight.

A big "Thumbs Down" on the porn. That's my opinion, anyway. My husband also liked to look at porn on the net. I felt terrible about it, because all of the women on those sites were like a size 1 and here I am, a hefty size 16. I told him over and over how it bothered me...and he would always promise not to do it again...but he did. Until I learned the secret. You can put a password on your computer...and he has to have it to look at those sites. My husband was furious at first that I would resort to something like that...but it worked. And now I can turn off the password option and feel safe knowing that he won't look at porn on the net again. He hasn't looked at porn on the net in over a year! YAY!!<P>All you have to do is click on Tools, Internet options, Content, and enable your content advisor. You set the password, and you control what he looks at. It may seem harsh to some people..but it worked for me. It let my husband know that I wouldn't stand for that crud in our home. And I also made the threat that if I ever found out he was looking at porn on the net again, I would not only have the internet service turned off, I would throw the computer out of the nearest window, too. And he knows that I wasn't kidding.<P>Good luck to you.<BR>Gabbie

Hi Hurtone and Gabbie,<P>Internet and other porn is a serious subject. It is not always just a passing thing. You might consider looking into information on the web about sex addiction.<P>Consider what your marriage is like. Does your H initiate sexual intimacy with you as much as you would like? Is your intimacy close and affectionate?<P>You might ask your H if he mast. to images in his head of other women. Does he mast. instead of making love with you? Does he mast. often? If he does, he could be addicted to porn (fantasy) and mast.<P>Just wanted to share this. My married life has been down this road. It will not go away without conscious treatment.<P>If you want more info, write to me at thoughtfulangel@cheerful.com<P>Hugz and prayers,<BR>Thoughtful (Deb)<BR>

I personally don't have a problem with my H occasionally looking at porn sites. I have too sometimes. Only mildly stimulating, neither of us have ever had the inclination to mast. because of it. I'm surprised there's SO much available out there (mega-bucks worth!), so there must be SOME danger in developing an addiction if one has an addictive personality. <P>Porn sites may be a symptom to a problem. Excessive viewing is not to be desired; regular or "necessary" viewing a red flag. Especially if it is upsetting to S. <P>Try to communicate about it though, instead of issuing demands (lovebuster--and two lovebusters don't make a lovemaker!!).