I haven't posted in a long time. Mainly because i'm in college now and I have a lot of homework, plus my 4 kids. I was wondering, if ws's who either go back to the op or find someone else, are the signs the same? or, do they track themselves even better so they don't get caught? I've had mixed feelings on this one. I just can't place it just yet, but something is off again, I can feel it somewhere. Maybe its just me or maybe I haven't found anything. We have the exactly the same marriage as before my H's A, so it makes no sense to return to a dying marriage. Were not in recovery, nor does he even want to talk to Steve Harley again. I definitely do not want to be married to this man if this is all he wants out of a marriage. I am not happy, nor am I even the least bit satisfied with it. I've prayed to God and asked Him to show me my H's character again. God has never lied to me. Thats how I found out about my H's A initially. Anyhow, I also asked God that if my H was lying to me at all, meaning he was back to seeing ow or he's been sneaking around and still seeing her, or if he;s found another ow, to completely shut his business down. No work for him at all. My h's business is his life, his pride, his ego, his sense of that he can do whatever he wants because noone is watching him, type of an attitude. I know it was harsh to ask God something like that, but something is off somewhere. Anyhow, any advice would be much appreciated. Paytonrose

My ex was dumb that way [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]... same ol' same ol'... <P>I don't know if all of them are the same, but in my case, it was exactly the same.<P>I suppose that some would be more careful though... it would make sense, wouldn't it?<P>I'll be curious to see responses...

Hi, <P>In my case, H was not a good liar. So his cheating showed up with his bad lie attempts. OW got sweeter and I looked worse. So there was a guage. I learned to trust my instincts and trust him less. I learned to watch his eyes (there was a long post on that a few months ago I think called 'the eyes have it'). H would sleep a lot and avoid me even more. <P>Basically I was being set up to LB. OW would help. She was sooo sweet about it. Sickening sweet. With poison. Eventually H got tired of playing the game and I was already pretty worn out. <P>H would finally admit he had been in contact and by then I would tell him that I already knew. That added some excitement for a while and even allowed OW to LB. Crazy lady, she thought I was completely fooled. When I told H that I already knew he was lying and cheating, kicked him out, OW LB'd big time. H was more miserable and I finally started feeling better. <P>It was when H came home that I got worse. WhY? Because he wasn't fully home, he wanted to keep 1 foot in both houses. When he finally made his decision is when we both started healing but not without further setbacks. You see, by then my health had deteriorated a lot, so recovery was set back. Then OW started to play her games. Gonna post about me soon. <P>Anyway, watch the eyes. For most the eyes dont' lie. <P>Take Care,<BR>L. <P>[ October 19, 2001: Message edited by: Orchid ]<p>[ October 19, 2001: Message edited by: Orchid ]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Anyway, watch the eyes. For most the eyes dont' lie.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>This is <B>SO</B> true. Always, always, always notice the eye contact (or lack thereof) when conversing with anyone. Much like body language, eye movement will tell you tales that you may or may not want to know. Keep an "eye" on the eyes.....<p>[ October 19, 2001: Message edited by: GeezLouise ]