I'm in Plan B with my husband (married nearly 17 years) as he refuses to give up a female 'friend'. Plan B is made much easier by the fact that he works away from home anyway, and I only saw him 1 week every 3 months. Although I have no confirmation that it IS an EA, apart from his behaviour (from angel into evil alien, overnight) and refusal to loose 'friend', I could not cope with the stress of dealing with the alien he'd become. <P>He doesn't even reply to emails I send him regarding important matters. He had bought me a car, but it was damaged in an accident and it was to be fixed. Now I don't know what is happening with that car, I'm without transport (I'm disabled so a car is important), and I've even written to him that if he does not let me know what is happening that I will buy a car for myself. Not a single reply to anything. I keep my emails very neutral, as I know how in his current state he twists the most innocent thing to make me look bad.<P>Questions keep going through my head. Is there anyway at all to get through to him, assuming he's in a fog? How can such a loving, caring man turn on me like that? I always thought that a person's actions towards others would show me their true character. My husband's actions were always wonderful towards other people, yet now he is treating me far worse than he's treated anyone else, ever. Does he really, even deep inside himself, not care for me anymore? How can he be so cold to me, yet I suspect he's caring and kind to his 'friend', and others. Is it possible to appeal to his Christian side - so far it hasn't helped. <P>My mind just spins and spins. The limbo of not knowing what's going on, what the future holds, it's unbearable. I don't really expect anyone to have answers, I'm venting because sometimes I feel I'll just burst. <P>SAU

Oh SAU I do know how you feel. I don't think you can do anything to get through to them. I do think of ways to keep trying though. But so far no help. Keep Plan B going an maybe he will come around. Stay strong and come here to vent.<P>SLH

Just wondering SAU, did you send a Plan B letter to your H?<P>Love and light, <P>Jacky

Hi Jacky,<P>No I didn't send a Plan B letter. I know I'm supposed to, but I just couldn't write it, I was/am so stressed out it's one thing I can't handle - what I mean is, I don't have the energy or capacity to write it. I did spell it out to him, on the phone, in great detail. Luckily I didn't speak in anger, only with sorrow and hope for a change. I made it clear he is welcome, IF he puts me and our marriage first and gives up his 'friend'. I also made sure to keep saying it's for MY sake, not punishment, that I can't take the stress of talking to him while he is putting his friend above me. <P>Have you had a response to your Plan B letter? You are so strong, I'm amazed at how you've handled things.<P>SAU