Well I haven't posted for a few days and there are some major changes in my WH. I really need some advice/feed back cause I'm not sure what's going on. I am in a total state of confusion. I haven't really talked to him all week. More like I have not iniatiated any phone calls. He has been calling me I've been short but nice and to the point with him. Thursday night a hot water pipe broke in my basement I had no choice but to call he was a little cranky because he was sleeping but he came right over and fixed it he called me around 11:00 that night to apologize for being cranky said he was tired and wanted to tell me good night. He never does that. He called yesterday morning at 7:00am to wish my D a Happy B-day and then wanted to talk to me. He came over last night right after work for cake and a little party for D then we went to the football game the entire time he was nice attentive joking around with me, he ended up spending the night. He has not done that in 4mos. I'm totally blown away. Oh yeah when he called me last night before he came over he told me he got his hair cut. My H looks great in really short hair since d-day he has been letting his hair grow and I hate it. Today he had an Open House at his job and called me to ask me if I wanted to bring the girls. I was really shocked b/c everyone he works with was there and since d-day he has not ask me to attend any work related functions. His "friend" the OW was there too. I never saw her before but my D pointed her out to me. She is shorter than me, blonder than me, but has a face like a horse. I am much cuter!! Sorry I had to toot my own horn! I did not approach her or make any comments about her to H. The kids and I and my friend left and he said he'd call me later. I don't know what to think. Last night we really didn't talk much about us b/c things were going so well I didn't want to ruin it. He was full of compliments, attentive to me it was so odd. What does this mean I'm afarid to read anything into this is it the calm before the next storm? I was just at his apartment and I told him he seems different he ask how I just can't explain it to him. He said we either get along or we don't and he doesn't want to fight anymore. I said neither do I but I can't do this anymore either. I said that last night and he said are you forcing me to make a decision? I said pretty much yes. I know that may be wrong but he did not get upset or mad about it. He was going to take a nap when I left and said why don't you rent a movie and maybe we can do something later. No definites. Anybody want to help me out here. I'm not sure what to think about this major change in him. Thank you in advance for your replies.

Cybil,<P>Real quick. Roller Coaster ride...... hon but it may be in the right direction. Hold on tight. He can go either way at this point. <P>Looks like he is missing his family. You can either be there or not. Now it is your choice. Plan A or B. <P><BR>If you are confused, let him know. I did. Then it put the onis of being logical on him. Don't do it too early, you want him to be comfortable with you enough to where your relationship is strong enough to handle your questions. <P>Your patience is going to be tested in this area. Just let him know little things, see how he handles it. Pull back on your need to dump and pump for all your needs and answers right away. That was my big mistake and did hinder recovery. In fact, I sent him packing a few times because of it!! [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img]<P>Don't make that mistake. Again, this is a watch and wait thing. Breathe, vent, watch. Let him enjoy his family. See what he has been missing. He was with you at that function not OW. BIG DEAL!!!!! Remember that! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]<P>This is hard, a different type of challenge. If you want to be in plan A, then read up on it. The table turn slightly when he is making effort. Don't underplay his efforts. Don't exaggerate them either. See how hard it is? Kinda like walking a fine line. <P>Don't show all your cards nor be overly anxious. <P>Will check back later. <P>Take Care,<BR>L.

YIKES....this is looking toooooo good! But, as LeAnne states, "Hold on tight." And, have the radar on high alert...LOL! In all seriousness, your H's attitude has improved and it shows. Apparently, your Plan A is working because of the changes that you are seeing and experiencing. Continue on with your efforts and see what tomorrow brings [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

cybil--<P>yes, be careful of questions and pushing him into a decision...<P>your confusion could be a direct result of his confusion...<P>SnL used to tell me to 'be irresistible.' to be the BEST Cali that I could be...let my H come to me...<P>woo him cybil...just like OW...only better 'cause you have history and his children...<P>as for questions...ask for clarification...not information...when WS has to explain themselves sometimes what they say hits home to them...<P>Cali

Orchid,Geez Louise,and Cali thank you all for your advice. H came over tonight it was just the 2 of us we watched a movie I made dinner for us he just left. We got along really well joked,laughed,hugged and kissed. He didn't want to spent the night b/c he's not feeling well. He looked really tired too. I said to him you're different and he ask how I said I'm not sure he said his philosopy is that we have to be friends first before we can be anything else. I'm still not sure what to think about this man.When he hugs me I actually feel he is really giving me a hug not like he's hugging his grandmother. It seems as though my H is coming back but I'm so unsure and really am trying to take it slow. This is the first time in along time that I have not been emotional when he's around usually something happens and I end up crying before the weekend is over. My girlfriends were going out tonight and 2 of them stopped by before they left he was cordial to them and said I told her she could have gone out tonight. I ask him if he wanted to go out next weekend and at first he said I don't go out and then he said we'll see. I know I shouldn't be thinking about what the future holds for us but it's so hard not to with everything that's happening in our country and the holiday season approaching. I know I love him but I am now questioning my own feelngs toward him and my M. Thanks again ladies.<BR>C [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]