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#2925364 10/22/01 09:28 AM
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 1
C
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Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 1
Hi everyone,<p>This is my first time to tell anyone about what has happened, except for a few family members. I need all the help I can get to get through this one.<p>We have been married for 16 years in November, and have, I thought at least, a pretty good marriage. Our children are all grown and away from home now, so we have more time for each other.<p>A couple of years ago, he came home and said he didn't know if he loved me anymore, and was going to move out. This came out of the blue, and really threw me for a loop. When I told him I wanted a divorce and was leaving the state, he decided he loved me bunches and we would try to make a go of the marriage. He was also having an affair with his ex-sister-in-law.<p>Last month, he was caught in a "suggestive" clinch with his exwife. She has pretended to be my friend for 20 years. When I confronted him, he said, and she said, that they had not had sex, but were planning it when I was to go away for a few days.<p>He says he has made a horrible mistake, it never should have happened. He also has agreed to go to marriage counseling.<p>My problem is I can't trust him. I question every move he makes. He still sees the ex sometimes and talks to her. <p>He even talks to the ex-sister-in-law. Says that it's over so I shouldn't worry about it.<p>I called to set up the appointment with the marriage counselor today. I guess I just need to learn how to cope with the mistrust until we can get the counseling, because right now I feel we need a separation. Please help. [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img]<p>[ November 02, 2001: Message edited by: chamomile ]</p>

#2925365 10/22/01 11:19 AM
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,733
R
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,733
chamomile,<P>Welcome to MB, you have landed on the right place. Get educated quickly about basic concept. Then read SAA (surviving an affair). Get him conseling right away w/ conselor that uses MB, or get it right from Steve or Jennifer. There are steps to end affair(s) and steps to protect you so that both of you could enjoy loving & caring marriage. Check on infedelity information on how A start, how to end it and on.<BR>Most of all, we are here to support each other and shoulder to cry on. Keep posting so that we all know how are you doing.<P><BR>Hadi


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