ok h and i were talking the wkend.he has been back home for 6 wks now.although ow doesn't know he is home she thinks he is staying with family.he claims he will fill her in on the fact that he is gonna come back home but not tell her that we are back together(even though right now we are working on friendship and not even talking about the marriage)its been 6wks and he hasn't said anything it seems like as long as she doesn't bring it up neither will he.she still calls his cell phone and i believe he finds time to get in contact with her.(they work together and i know they socialize)he is so worried about "hurting her"and acts like all the hurt i am going through/have gone through doesn't matter.he claims he can't bring me around work associates b/c they don't know he is married and he has been fooling around w/her.softball friends so have met me in the past but for the most part they know of her so he keeps me away there also.he claims it will take "time"to overcome this.i do see some improvement in certain areas but i want to be a part of his life not just certain parts when it works out for him.he paraded her around the town this last yr plus.and me i did a lot of sitting in the dark.i told him he should be honest and let her know he is gonna try to work this out but her "feelings"are such a big deal.he still has stuff at her place and hasn't gone to get it <BR>i am not looking forward to that either.on certain nights he comes in late and i do suspect that he is with her.(claims he is not)but how do u start doing things on your own when u have be parading to work,to lunch back home and hanging out with this one person for over a yr.how do you just cold turkey with something like that.he claims he is still gonna save $ for a divorce in case we can't be friends i feel like he is saving it so in time him and her can find a "new"place to live together instead of him just going back to her house.this whole thing is to much.i enjoy spending time w him but he acts like i have cooties.what am i to do i am not gonna chase after him.i did that already not gonna back to that.i really think if he treats me the way i deserve we could have a great time together but sometimes he acts like its impossible.

Hi, <P>I guess your question to him could be: <P>How can 1 man sleep in 2 different beds at the same time? Note: These 2 beds are in 2 different homes. <P>If he can show you how he can do this, maybe he can have his cake and eat it to...<P>I asked my H that question and he told me, that's stupid no one can do that. I said. But you are. At least that what I feel you are trying to do but you are not doing a good job of it. So if the OW (who went from wanting H parttime to fulltime to anytime), is willing to take whatever, then I told H to go be with her fulltime after he makes a clean break with me (repay old debts of money he took from me - just for the current year, file the D, no more contact with me or Son, pay child support anyway, etc.). I said I would have no problem moving on, if he could do that. <P>Hm...... guess where he is now? Right here at home and learning that OW is really a greedy and rude person. Even told her so. Of course, he realizes he was greedy and rude also. <P>Sometimes you gotta reach for the real wild stories to help reach them while they are in the fog. <P>Oh another thing, I learned that sometimes WSs don't like the actions of other Wss, so giving them other's stories may help. <P>JHMO.<BR>L.

leftalone...<P>I still sense from your posts a lot of focus on H...I was way to focused on H in the beginning...<P>Read some of the posts...especially in noteable posts...sometimes the best thing you can do is take focus of WS and OP and just focus on what YOU can do in the marriage...YES, IT IS VERY DIFFICULT...<P>but the common thread that I can find in posts where WS came home was that BS made necessary changes in themselves and became stronger...could have stood alone in the long run, if WS had left...<P>Good Luck,<BR>Cali