how do you deal with your spouse working with the ow? especially when you know they are still connected.my h has had a w ow for over a yr and they work together.it is very difficult for me especially since he is lying to both of us.he claims he wants to divorce because we won't be able to get past all that has happened.he did live w ow for 8 months and they became very close.now he is back home and not sure he wants to be there after 5 wks because he doesn't feel like he loves me.i said them working together and see each other everyday has a lot to do with his feelings.he says he still likes her and does miss her.and finds nothing wrong with them being friends and doing lunch.she has no idea he is back home b/c he says it will her too much. he just makes it seem like we have no connection to one another.he says their relationship is on hold until he figures out what he is gonna do.don't believe i sense they are still seeing each other.so how do you get pass something like this is it even possible i am about to just throw in the towel b/c he is just to involved and he wont give me the respect i deserve by letting her know he is living back home.now he wants to leave and i think its b/c he can not deal with his feelings for her.him and i are suppose to be working on friendship but how is that possible when he came back lying and is continuing to lie to both of us? honesty means a lot and he just has a big problem with that.he is currently saving money for our divorce and that is all the ow thinks is we are divorcing b/c that is what he has led her to believe even though at one point he wanted to work on friendship and now he is singing a new song.he goes through this every couple of days. and only brings up how he feels when i ask he never volunteers information on his own.i believe this is the same way he handles things w ow also.since she hasn't asked where he is staying he hasn't told.what do you have to say about this big mess.

hey leftalone,<P>My situ is a little different. <BR>My DH had an EA from 05/01 to 07/01 with a coworker. It probably would have progressed to a PA (they were already making out in her minivan after work - gee...how romantic - I'm so glad this is the image he gets to have of his behavior - pathetic)Anyways, he still does work with her. HOWEVER, the A is over and we are well into recovery. About 3 weeks ago she wrote him a note that he turned over to me, requesting HE stop working there because it's "just too hard on me since you dumped me".....breaks your heart doesn't it??!! Anyways, I responded by email to her....letting her know she is welcome to quit anytime. We'll see - I'd love it if she quits. <P>They don't always work together...one will get floated or not work on the same shift...etc. They typically will work 1-2 shifts a week together. I ASK him every night he works if she is there. I also STILL have a PI who is occasionally tailing him. <P>If the A wasn't over, and he was still working there....I'd probably go ballistic. <BR>I still don't like that he works with her - I never will. <P>LLL

From what I have read here and in SAA I would say it is time for Plan B. I was lucky my WH OW went to first shift and found someone else. Now he is getting a taste of his own medicine.<P>Stay strong and come here to vent