h has been home for 5wks and we are supposedly working at being friends.there is no talk of us even being h and w. the problem is he doesn't have that loving feeling for me.it is akward living w someone who only talks here and there.isn't it normal for ws to not have that loving feeling?(since so much has gone on)we sleep in the same bed(no contact)its like he's one one side i'm on the other.the real problem is he is still seeing ow and i know it for sure.we don't consider each other husband and wife.(sometimes i feel like i could never call him that again)but even though we are working on trying to be friends i still have a big problem with them (they are still intimate)I HAVE PROOF.he sits around and says they are through but he is lying.and i just feel if he was gonna continue to be w her why did he move out of her home and back with me and our daughter?now he is talking about divorcing b/c he isn't feeling love for me.but how does the love just come after being in a yr plus affair w a person he works w and lived w and still continues to see day in and day out.he also still hangs around her so how would he ever feel love for me?and isn't it impossible for us to even try to be friends while he is still involved w ow.my thing is if he wants to be w ow why doesn't he just move back into her home?if that is where his feelings are?and he is staying late at work to sneak in intimate incounters w her.and do i even want more from someone who has intimate incounters at there office after hrs.doesn't that say a lot about both of them.and do i even want a friendship w someone like that?and it is painful to see someone you care about doing things like that and how does he just sleep in the same house and same bed w/me feeling he doesn't love me and obviously loving/caring for her when he could so easily just move back in with her.that is really my question.

I'm not sure if I can help here, but I'll try since I had a similar situation with my wife. I completely understand the weird and strange feeling. I strived to get my wife to talk to me about this problem (OM) and her feelings like a husband & wife would talk about any other problem. I figured if she could start confiding in me, it would only help. That still doesn't clean up all the weirdness, but at least you will feel a little more connected. <P>The lying is the hardest part for me to deal with. I never did find a decent way (for me) to cope with it. I just told her that I'm not stupid, I know when you&#8217;re lying, and I won&#8217;t stand for it. Didn&#8217;t really work, she just quit talking altogether. You have my sympathy, it's very hard to be nice to someone who is not capable (at the time) of telling you the truth.<P><BR>Best of luck,<BR>HI