Interesting question, considering how often I asked myself that. Was this MM an addiction? I honestly don't know. Perhaps. It's possible that it could have been anyone, but I'm not sure. Having grown up around alcoholics and a few smokers, at times it did seem that way. When we were together, wether it was walking to the corner store, talking on the phone or simply working in the same office in silence (other than the given) it made me forget about my world crashing around me. But I could literally smell him a mile away, and if he had been in a room I walked into, even if he was gone and it was hours later, I knew it. I know it probably sounds ridiculous, but you could blind fold me and I could still find him. I suppose, possibly... in the same way that an alcoholic can find liquor(?) Had we been single, everyone would have called it love, sighed and wished us the best. When I was working hard to make something of myself, it certainly wasn't with the idea of becoming someone's whore. Excuse my crude expression, but I guess I'm a little bitter too. In any case, he was as much to blame, but I have a hard time hating him, and lay most of the blame on me. I feel like I was the one who failed, after all I was the one who said yes and took that irreversible step. Once something is said or done, you can't take it back and you can't change it. All you can do is move forward, clean up the mess and try to improve the situation. I know I will never forget what happened and I'm pretty certain that his W will not forget either.
