I want to believe my WH so much. But am scared to get hurt again.<p>He told me on phone tonight he was done with OW. (OW now has new BF) How do you believe this and can it really be true.<p>We had a wonderful weekend and I feel the fog lifted. He also told me he wanted to spend next weekend like the last just me and him talking and having fun. (OH we did have fun)<p>I feel the anti depressents are starting to work. They are a godsend. <p>He still has not told me he wants M to work but has said other things that lead me to think this is what he wants. Do we try to read between the line or what? <p>I only found out about the A in July. If OW finds OM does this mean the A died a natural death. (can I say I wish OW would die a natural death)hehe!<p>I feel me saving grace was a strong Plan A. He has talked about leaving for a year but up till now has not. Said he would be trading his son for OW daughter and he could not do that to his son. (I guess not) <p>Well I do hope we are on the right path to recovery.<p>Comments please!!<p>
SLH

comments please?

Hi SLH,<p>Well it is a start. Not with the words of your choice but his. Now for your sake, don't read more into his words than what he says. Do watch what his actions. <p>Let him show you how he wants to come back to your family. Don't be coy but be smart. Don't be too enabling either. Don't let him treat you like a left over or doormat. <p>Let him prove to you that your family is his choice. Be prepared for some backlash, some steps backward. <p>Know this and understand that it may happend. Also recognize progress and without the over dramatic show of emotion, let him know you appreciate his efforts of showing care and compassion to your family.<p>Be aware that contact with OW may continue for a while. Pay attention to how he acts and when he does this, learn and prepare yourself the next time so that you can handle it (not approve or condone) but be aware and let him know that you know. <p>Ok, now the fun part. Enjoy the attention and time he is sharing with you and your family. Let him remember the happy times. <p>Take Care,
L.

SLH,<p>This is great news for you. If the OW has a new BF then your hubby is out (or nearly out) of her picture - something in the scenario has been a big LB for her. It doesn't fit with her plans so she's looking for somebody more suitable. Sounds like the A has run its course for the OW. Also, the OW now has another man in her life. And it won't work for either this OM or your hubby to be sharing the OW - if you follow the logic [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>You also have the issue of your hubby giving up his son for a daughter and that's something he won't do - the fog is lifting for him, he's beginning to reason again. So the A has probably run its course for your hubby too. In addition to this, your Plan A has been having an effect on him and you guys are having some fun together again.<p>So, this is all great, great news.<p>What helped me at this stage of the game was really spending time with my wife. As much time as possible. And I've held onto this as a requirement for our relationship. It's a boundary that we've agreed together. We spend 4 nights together, which leaves 3 nights of the week available for other activities. And it's paid dividends.<p>Last night we had the boys in bed by 8pm and spent the evening talking over a bottle of wine. At the end of the evening, as we cuddled up in bed together, I asked her how she felt about us and she said 'great'. I asked why, what's different for her now, and she said 'the aggession has gone. You used to annoy me, but now we can talk to each other again'.<p>My suggestion would be to do something similar. Spend as much time together as you can. It really is a great healer. Try not to let your fear of being hurt again get in the way and avoid all those LBs. <p>Also, remember, there are no guarantees in life. Relationships will continue to develop and change over time so even if somebody says to you 'I love you' today it doesn't gaurantee they'll continue to feel that way. <p>Therefore, we all have to keeping working on our relationships and continue to generate those feelings of love for each other. It never stops. <p>good luck and have a great weekend with your hubby,<p>- Freddy

Thanks Freddy and Orchid.<p>You guys always seem to know what to say.<p>He did come home from work this am and tell me he was in a bad mood. I asked him why and he said he had been thinking about what he had done. I did not say much just kissed him and left for work myself.<p>Hope when he gets up today his mood is better.<p>He did tell me on the phone last nite that he thought he is "getting better"<p>Don't really know how he meant it but I did take it as he was getting over OW<p>SLH