Hi,
Last weekend I posted about H wanting to stay friends with OW. He was meant to see me and our sons on Saturday and I messaged him not to come around and organized a place from where he can pick up the boys. I needed some space since he had told me about being in contact with OW again.I was ready for plan B. I never got there because H turned up anyway. Had a discussion about things and the counselling session which was booked for Thursday.
I kept telling him I didn't see the point for it, since he was still keeping in touch with OW.
I suggested if he could do individual counselling first. H was still asking me to join him. I agreed. Next morning H calls me and asks if he can come and spend a day with us.He was feeling very low and had not slept all night, said he was close to a breakdown (under enourmous stress with the fights in the family and financial worries)I agreed and we had an excellent time. H tells me he called OW on Saturday night and told her he doesn't want to see her or keep in touch with her anymore.I mentioned about sending a letter instead of a phone call. Has anyone succeeded without sendind no contact letter? This is break up #2 for them. The first one(by phone too) was in June and OW went nuts.This time she had just said she didn't care anymore.H told he had understood giving up the contact was so important to me and it would give us a cleaner chance with counselling.I held on to my boundaries and it worked. H needed me there and wanted lots of cuddles and comforting. I was very happy about the progress. I am so tired after 17 months of this mess.
H left the following day and for the next couple of days goes quiet. We have counselling tomorrow so finally he calls me today. He sounds distant and makes it clear he'll just come for the C and go home. This gets to me and I start to lose it. I am not even sure if I want to go anymore. It's like I am starting to climb on the fence not knowing what I want. It's gone on too long. I got my hopes up again on the weekend , it was so good, so incredibly good. He gave OW a boot and things should be getting (at least slightly) better. WHY NOW? WHY am I tired of this now? A year ago I would have gone through the roof being so happy to hear those words. Now I feel I blew it. I want more and I am too tired to wait for it.I have been so patient before, what's wrong now? Should I plan A a little longer, give him time?(we are separated,1 year now, and H lives in a town where OW works, not easy for me) I talked too long and H said I am pressuring him again. Great, there went all the good work and effort of the last weeks, I should have known better, time to back off again.It's a vicious cycle. The situation seems hopeless.I am trying to find the strenght to see the counsellor tomorrow with H. H says he goes to C with an open mind, it could work or it could not. I see C possibly causing even more pain, I am too tired to be able to take any more. I know I should try to stay strong and clear what I want, one waffler in a marriage is enough...
Any opinions or suggestions, please.

BIF<p>I am so sorry for your pain. My WH did phone OW because she found OM. I feel you are very close to the end of the A. Let it die and plan A a little longer. <p>Stay strong. The fog is thick and I feel he will come through <p>He will see what OW is made of lies and more lies.<p>
SLH

Thanks SLH<p>I am pretty sure too A is taking it's last breath and it could be that H is feeling the early stages of withdrawal. Anyway he's feeling very low.
He also feels this has gone on too long and it's time to make some decisions. Not a good timing. I'll see if I can plan A for a few more weeks until his mood lifts. <p>Good luck, looks like your H's fog has cleared.You'll make it.
BIF