This is in relation to H2O's post on feelings you've experienced after aquiring knowledge of an affair. I've read where WS have become BS--Were your feelings less intense towards the new WS who was formerly a BS? This question can be for both sides. OR were the feelings just an "extention" of the guilt and pain you already went through the first time as the WS?
It seems my H is afraid that this is what I'm gonna do and he has brought it up a couple of times. Just curious as to the response. I can't imagine going through this. I already told him one man is enough for me to deal with and the pain has been so great I couldn't even think of doing something that would cause so much anquish to my family after being on this side of the fence. I could see where maybe someone would do it in retaliation? I don't know. H thinks that but I've gone through again and again that I am not going to hold this over his head and blame him for everything. I have taken responsibility for my actions in causing him to "stray" although I certainly wasn't aware of them at the time.
Mikkey

How about a BS who became a WS and then a BS again? Will that do?? [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Gosh, ya know... I agree that I never thought I'd do it since I knew what it was like to be the recipient of betrayal... and this sick little part of me thought, "sheesh, he won't care anyway... he hardly pays attention to me as it is"...<p>I mentioned on that other thread that the pain I felt as a WS far surpassed the pain as a BS, and I was a BS five times over! As bad as my (then)H's affairs were, I didn't have control over them... but you can sure as heck believe that I knew who had control over MY affair -- yours truly! It is the ugliest most disguisting thing in the world to know that you have lowered yourself to that level... no matter what was done to you...<p>Hope this answers your questions...

I'm a former WS who's now wearing the hat of BS (not exactly what you're looking for, but....)<p>My M had an A on my F and ultimately married the man some 9 years ago. That hurt me tremendously. I was FURIOUS with her and hadn't spoken to her until recently.<p>Then when I became the WS in an EA, I was SO disappointed and disgusted with myself, I could hardly stand myself.<p>But compared to the pain (in so many ways) that I feel being the BS, there's NO comparison. I've NEVER hurt like I have in the 3 weeks since D-Day (not when my grandmother died, not when my parents split, not when my father died, not when I let MYSELF down by engaging in an EA, NEVER).<p>In the last few weeks, I've felt like my world has been crashing down, I was fighting for my life, I was losing THE MOST important thing in my life and my best friend all rolled into one. I'd have rather given up oxygen, food, water, nearly my soul (and I know it's not wise to even JOKE about that!).<p>I've since changed (or rather gotten back to) my outlook on life and I am feeling MUCH better (course, the Meds are probably helping that too).<p>Hope this helps.
K