we've been married for 2 years. This is our second separation. The first one was 2 months. So far this one has been 9 months. Both have been because of me taking advantage of her, not putting her 1st, not being a family man, and verbal abuse of things i've said that i regret. i've asked her does she want a divorce but she won't give me an answer. Is there any hope?

Yes ... many have worst scenario yet manage to save their M.<p>Here's a good place to start:
General Welcome for All NewBuilders: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=29&t=000553<p>Acronyms, Smilies, UBB Codes: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=29&t=000557<p>Get educated about MB ... learn EN, LB, LB$, plan A/B ...<p>Then post your profile so other could give you better 2¢.

Read all that you can on this site....also think about getting a copy of HNHN (His Needs, Her Needs- available in the site bookstore). You CAN save you marriage, even if you're the only one who wants to right now...as many of us are.<p>Read up on Plan A and implement it. Look deep inside of yourself and try to see you from your W's point of view. Try to figure out what her EN (emotional needs) are that you haven't met (likewise for your needs). If you can, try to ask her what her EN are (if she's willing to try to work on the relationship, this would be much easier).<p>It sounds like she's already giving you some STRONG hints:<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr> Both have been because of me taking advantage of her, not putting her 1st, not being a family man, and verbal abuse of things i've said that i regret <hr></blockquote><p>Think HARD about what you might be losing if you're not able to correct these behaviors. Changing these habits will take time, but it CAN be done. She'll notice!<p>Determine the kind of man, friend, husband, lover you want to be and work towards that goal. You fix YOU, and she'll take notice.<p>Hope this helps a little.
Kev

thanks kev. that is very comforting. ill get educated on sme things dealing with MB. I have already made a lot of changes in my life. i've been going to counseling and it has really helped. i've rid myself of people who i thought were my friends, and most of all whether my wife and i get back together or not i've learned that u can't just leave a woman on the shelf and expect her to stay there like a statue. Marriage is about sharing, doing, and caring from within. It has to been done everyday and i wasnt doing that. I think she has noticed my changes, but is leary of me because i changed the first time we split for a few months then got back in my comfort zone and took her for granted. So she thinks ill do it again. all i can say is i've grown a lot from this experience.