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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 300
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 300 |
<p>[ January 20, 2002: Message edited by: Bunny ]</p>
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 448
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 448 |
Hi - try not to play directly on his feelings of guilt. There may be a short-term response but he will end up resenting you for it. Personally, one of the hardest things about plan A was that you can't define its success by your spouse's response. It's impossible to be consistent if you keep looking for "results". Judge it by your own behavior. So be upbeat and show him what he's missing. Cry when he's not around. Leave the pictures up.<p>On the other hand, boundaries are important. No more of that supplemental gratification that (I think) you referred to obliquely. You deserve respect, by that I mean he can't just pick and choose what he wants.<p>- Tom
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 276
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 276 |
I told my WH my feeling and I did cry sometime in front of him (I think they need to see us upset for what they have done). I would try to keep the talk in the I mode so he would not get angry.<p>This has helped us. Now he has told me all aspects of the A and has stopped seeing OW.
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