why the heck it is so hard for my WH to show me affection all of the sudden?<p>He showed me tons of affection for the first 2 1/2 weeks into our recovery and now it's all gone. I've went so far as telling him exactly what would make me feel better and....well.....NOTHING.<p>He doesn't look at me when I talk to him about how I'm feeling....like he's not even listening though he swears he is.....so why isn't he doing something about it?<p>I didn't take him back to be treated like I'm not even here.<p>Why the heck it's not a necessity for my name to be on the checking account right now....but it will be in the future. This one has me puzzled.<p>I'm supposed to have total access to his cell phone.....checking the voice mail and all...he agreed to this. I set up the voice mail 2 days ago and he's changed the password already and is deleting things out of the cell phone....caller ID's, last #'s dialed and all that. This is not being totally honest to me...it's making me think that he has something to hide or he wouldn't have done it.<p>No matter what boundaries we set together he gets a wild hair up his butt and decides that he will do this or that....and I shouldn't have a problem with it.<p>I won't put up with this much longer.....he needs to be proving to me that he really wants to be with me....and ignoring me is not how he should be doing it.<p>His priorities are definately not in the right place yet.....all that he was doing in the beginning was play acting so he could get me where he wants me....at least that is what it seems now.<p>
GRRRRR!!!!!
I hate days like these!

MP, there is only one explanation, and you already know it, there is no reason to screw around with the phone except to decieve you, just assume he is talking to the ow and act accordingly. He has broken the rules not you, fool ya once shame on him, fool ya twice shame on you. I really don't understand the reluctance of bs (here) in general to demand strict adherence to extraordinary precautions, that is how a ws demonstrates their sincerity. It is one thing to occassionally have some kind of non-physical contact with op, but a regression to regular secretive behaviour is unacceptable.

I feel it could be one or both of these problems.<p>1) has had contact with OW<p>2) guilt<p>my WH did show me some affection right after D-day. But then got to where he showed none at all. Now since OW dumped him he is showing me lots of affecton

Hi MP I've been thinking about you and wondering what you've been up to. Sorry to hear that H hasn't totally commited yet. I thhink sometimes we want it so bad and they start to say and do all the right things until we fall right back into it. Has your H given you any explanations as to why he has changed his password on his cell so that you can't access it? Cell phones and computers can really put a damper on a recovering M.
I'm hopeing that doesn't happen to me only time will tell. My H has been home for 2 wks. so far so good but he still has contact with the OW co-worker that I am not pleased about. He doesn't seem to understand how this makes me feel. We are going to conseling so I'm trying not to bring up the issue about that too much until we can discuss it with the counselor. I'm hopeful that we will have a good recovery I know it will take time.
Hang in there MP and stick to your plan either H wants to recommit to you and the M or not you shouldn't have to go through this crap again.
<<<Hugs>>>
C