This mourning at 6 am my w/s called and proceeded
to chew . It seems that son said he didnt really like what she was doing ( living with om) and he didnt want to live with her . well she says that i have been changing her kids minds about how they feel about her . I told her about 4 weeks ago that she should pay attention to the kids and what she says to them . she says the kids will always love her and they know her better than i do . well now the kids are really starting to bite back . than she tells me that I have never loved her for 17 years we have been married , also that I never respected her for those same years . We are back at it again its all my fault .
What to do next?

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Colfax Bear:
<strong> We are back at it again its all my fault .
What to do next?</strong><hr></blockquote><p>Hi, CB.
If you are in Plan A, stay there. If you are in Plan B, stay there. Stay calm, stay steady. DO NOT engage in this "warfare" with her. Kids' comments are rattling her, and she's trying to take it out on you. Don't fall for it.<p>Good to hear from you (even if it IS bad news!)<p>God Bless,
Lupo

Lupo Its good to hear from you . We are in plan b and its our w/a tomorrow I sent a dozen roses today to her telling her I loved her .

Evening folks. My 2 kids told me that ws (wife )wants to take them out to dinner to talk tomorrow.which is fine , They also told me that in a recent conversation kids had told ws that she has changed , she told them that they are the ones that have changed. Is she doing what I think she is trying, to dump her guilt on them? She keeps on insisting that she is the same women she has always been.What would you tell the kids in a situation like this? Any one want to take a stab at this?

The truth. Temper it by taking their age into consideration. There are many fathers out here with your situation. I am sorry you are having to help educate your children to act more mature than their own mother but you children will see that for themselves. <p>Wat has done a good job, Rick37 and several others. Look for their input. <p>Take Care,
L.

Last night kids had conversation with ws , wife tryed to convince kids what she was doing was correct , she also said that om is a nice guy
. she said that people cant change, when the kids said dad is wiling to fix what is wrong . Kids said that it was so confusing she keeps repeating herself, memorie is short , But she did make the comment that she hasnt ruled out the posibility of coming back . My 2 kids handeled it just right mature and responsible . It makes me proud .

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Colfax Bear:
<strong>Last night kids had conversation with ws , wife tryed to convince kids what she was doing was correct , she also said that om is a nice guy
. she said that people cant change, when the kids said dad is wiling to fix what is wrong . Kids said that it was so confusing she keeps repeating herself, memorie is short , But she did make the comment that she hasnt ruled out the posibility of coming back . My 2 kids handeled it just right mature and responsible . It makes me proud .</strong><hr></blockquote><p>How old are your children? I am also looking for advice on how and what to discuss with my 11 year old son. I have a post called question for dlm and mom's. Did you tell your kids about the A and the OM. I have not yet told my son. My W moved out 09/27/01 and we share week with son. It is working ok with him, we are very close and have a great family and church. I am very intrested in how you are dealing with your kids.
Good luck and God bless you and your family.<p>Peace.

N2K kids 15/17 they both know about afair.
wife tells them how good om and his children are.
The kids and I are very open about how we feel , I encourage them to talk to me If its a question about ws and I cant answer i will suggest talking with her. I speak the truth to them and dont try to load them up with my ill feelings.It works out great for me , kids look to me for their support.
Now as far as ws goes some days she screws up bye the numbers, even with advise from several people to watch what she says and does infront of them . take their age in consideration give them what they can handel as far as truth is concerned.
Be the anchor in their lives so they have something solid to hang on to.You will never regret. Take care , best of luck to you.