Indy,
I am back from Monterey competition (Major LB w/ WW). I need my peace and she played me along and I went and have fun w/ my 2 D.<p>With Z, Orchid & Faith ... you are in a good hand. I am glad you are back as "new Indy". [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] . I will keep reading your post and bugs you once in a while. I have to tend my own problem right now, it is getting hot. I need to learn more about Venusian from Orchid.<p>ta ta for now.

Z,<p> It is good to hear from you. I am glad that you had a good time. I hope that STL will start posting again soon.<p>Everyone,<p> I feel alittle down today. I went out to lunch with people from the office. I still feel like I am on the outside looking in on what was once my life. I just don't know how to stop that. I sound better to you. I still feel the worthlessness as well as most of what I felt and expressed a few weeks ago. I tried really hard not to think about my WS at the Ball, but that was almost impossible to do. Also, knowing that I will be alone again tonight almost makes it so I don't have to leave the office. I don't know what to do about that. I just know that leaving the office for me use to be a happy thing. I just don't know.<p>Indy<p>[ November 12, 2001: Message edited by: INDY_357 ]</p>

Everyone,<p> Well, it is kind of funny. I think that my WS has tried to call today. I turned my cell phone back on this past Saturday. I got a unknown caller on it this afternoon. I just now got a call from an unknown caller. As soon as the answering machine picked up they hung up. Do WS's play games with the BS in this fashion? If so, is she trying to bother me or what? It almost seems again like she is testing my bonderies again.<p>Indy<p>[ November 12, 2001: Message edited by: INDY_357 ]</p>

Hi, Indy!
Sorry you were down this afternoon. that's OK. Yes, we can all tell that you are stronger and feeling better these days. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] but you will have some down times too. The ole roller coaster of emotions. <p>Yep, your W may be trying to push your buttons, just like we've been suggesting. She either misses you, admires your strength, or is testing your resolve. You are doing great! Keep up your strength and independence! k? [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>And, quit letting her take you up and down the roller coaster, but trying to figure her out. It's hard, I know, we wanna know what the heck they are doing. But is jsut drives us bananas trying to worry about it. <p>see ya later!
Faith1

Faith,<p> She either misses you, admires your strength, or is testing your resolve.<p> I don't know which of the three that it is, but if I had to guess. I would say that she is just testing me. I don't think that she misses me a bit. I don't think that she admires anything about me. I wish that it was a combination of the first two. I guess we will have to wait and see.<p> I try not to let her do that. I try and just say that she just wants the kids and not you. I have to keep telling myself that every day. I know that she is out having a good time. That is all that she thinks about.<p>Indy<p>[ November 13, 2001: Message edited by: INDY_357 ]</p>

Bump.

Indy,
Couldn't resist it ... my nosy nature.<p>Yes wait and see. Time will tell which one she is or even which percentages of the three mix in together. Meanwhile have fun w/ your kid ... enjoy and cherish them. Give them love that you are willing to give it to her when she return. When you are influx, check out this forum, there are so many cries and pains that we could lend shoulder to lean on. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>My 2 D enjoyed our Monterey trip w/o WW and WW is back last night ( ??? Monday night is usually at OM). I showed her that Mr. mom could handle them just fine.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by INDY_357:
<strong> I know that she is out having a good time. That is all that she thinks about.
</strong><hr></blockquote><p>Hi, Indy,
You are sounding better and better. That is good news. As has been warned, tho, watch out for the rollercoaster ride!<p>As far as your quote above, I DON"T BELIEVE IT! At least that's what most everyone keeps telling ME. That the WS most definitely IS NOT out "having a good time..." I hope to find out one day that it's true.<p>Anyone who's "been there...." want to comment to Indy (and me) about if it's really true or NOT that WS's are NOT having as good a time as we tend to think they are?!?! Guilt taking over & all....<p>Lupo

Lupo,<p> That is a very good question. I started a post about it. Let's wait and see what they say.<p>Indy

Everyone,<p> Well, about an hour ago I got a phone call. I screen my calls since I went to no contact. The person hung up when the answering machine picked up. I checked to see who called. It was an unknown caller. This is the same thing that the OM use to do at the apartment. I think that it was the WS again. The call coinsided with her first break. <p> I will check in later. Once my parents come home I am going for a little drive.<p>Indy

Hello everyone,<p> My WS just called. I now know why I was got the phone call yesterday. She is now working third shift. That is from 10pm-6am. I guess that does it. She is happier with her life now. That move shows that she will never be a family again. She did at least say that she would be over on Sat at 9:00am. I don't know what to say about that. I guess she just wants to stop the fighting and move the divorce forward. I guess I need to ask her if she got another lawyer or not and start working out the details.<p>Indy<p>[ November 14, 2001: Message edited by: INDY_357 ]</p>

Hi, Indy,
I'm sorry you got some news that takes you back down the roller coaster. <p>I thought she was already working 3rd shift??? And why do you think this confirms that she never wants to be family again?<p>I wouldn't bring up D until she does. JMO.<p>Keep us posted. I'm leaving work and will be online later.<p>Faith1

Faith,<p> She use to work second shift. That shift was from 4pm-2am. It confirms that she is happy acting and for lack of a better word single life. That work schedule would not allow her to get the kids to school safely. She did call me Indy tonight. Like on the thread that is out there now talking about setting your WS free. That is what she wants. I think that it was before I found this site that she told me that if I really loved her I would let her go. That is the way that she means. She wants me to divorce her. She has on numerous times told me that there is another girl out there that will sweep me off my feet. I guess it can't be any clearer than that.<p>Indy

Bump.<p>Indy

Hi Indy,<p>So are you going to let her dictate to you what you think she wants you to do? If she wants the D, let her go get it. Why should you help her along this path in any way unless this is what you want also? <p>I understand how you feel that there might be an underlying statement but wouldn't it be better if you actually let her confirm your suspicions? <p>L.

Orchid,<p> It has been I while. I sent you an email. I was wondering what happend to you. Am I wrong not to give her exactley what she wants. You know that I don't want the divorce. <p> What did you think about her saying that she would be here at 9:00 am?<p>Indy

Indy,
If you don't want a divorce, then don't initiate it, and don't rush it. k? She didn't mention it, did she? Wait and see what she wants. <p>Did she say why she's coming over at 9 on Saturday? Did she say she wanted to talk? Or do you think she wants to see the kids? It would be better for you to not see her, since you are really trying to avoid contact, right? Can you leave her a message for her to let you know why she's coming over? You could say that you're not sure if you will be available or not. You've already told her to avoid contact. She may be trying to test your resolve on that. Or she may truly want to sit down and tell you seomthing inportant. Make her tell you this ahead of time, by requesting her to let you know the purpose of her visit.<p>Just my opinion. All of this to protect your emotional roller coaster, ya know.<p> [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]
Faith1

Faith,<p> She wants to get the kids. I have to work anyway. So, that is were I will be when she gets here. She didn't mention the divorce. She hasn't mentioned it in person since April. She has up until this point let her lawyer do that. Since she lost her she hasn't said anything about it. She only talked about the stuff out of the apartment. I am sorry that I didn't put that in my post.<p>Indy

Indy,
OK, I gotcha, I think [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] . <p>So what's your question about the 9 am thing? If you are asking about her setting the schedule for the kids... well, you haven't worked out a schedule yet have you? Maybe you can write out a schedule that you would like, and give it to her, and ask her to stick to it.<p>And I'm still not sure why you think she's moving forward with the D. [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] And I'm not sure what you mean about the stuff out of the apartment. I wouldn't let her take anything that's not truly HERS.<p>Faith1

Faith,<p> Sorry about not responding last night. I feel asleep. The question about the time was this. Is she just trying to pacify me by getting them a 9am? As far as the stuff from the apartment. When she left she said that she only wanted her stuff, the kids stuff, and either the couch or the bed. She then took out the kids stuff and finally got her stuff(that's another story). She then didn't say one word about anything else. Then when I got the kids and filed a motion for support she then stated that she wanted all this other stuff. She wouldn't sign the agreement until I did. As a matter of fact I got a letter from her lawyer stating that I was in the military and I should have more important things on my mind. This was around the time of the WTC attack. She just all of the sudden changes direction. I guess I just need to learn and get it through my head that she has made her choice and it isn't me or the kids. It is the OM and her friends. Again sorry for the confussion.<p>Indy<p>[ November 15, 2001: Message edited by: INDY_357 ]</p>