a physical act of infidelity on the part of the wife. An emotional act on the part of the husband. I the husband, have repeatedly sought forgiveness for MY action. Yet, in her words, she chooses NOT to seek MY forgiveness. SHE is manic depressive/bipolar. I have taken care of her through her ordeal for 2 1/2 years only to be met by my own mental and physical exhuastion, resulting in my shutting down emotionally toward her.For over a year between her ordeal and my own limits being reached combined, I have been without her for over a year. In this timeframe, we have made love to each other ONCE. Many was the time I had the opportunity to be with someone else while she was 'out of it', but I did not. When I began to feel all I had gone through, blocking her out, she commits adultery. Now, for the past 2 months we sleep in different parts of the house. She asks ME to move out. She harbors on me for seeking emotional comfort with a woman while she was recovering- yet STILL not giving me affection, yet how does this compare with what she has done, much less how she chooses NOT to regain my trust as I feel I must do. She is totally cold to me inside, yet will give no reason for her meanness toward me. She has become a totally different person to me now- perhaps because of all the medication she has taken over the past 3 years. Not the woman I married. And I still love her dearly. But where do I go now.........

Hi Spidorman,<p>Where you do want to be? Are you familar with plan A and B? Have you read Surviving an Affair and his needs/he needs? Also have you and your W taken the emotional needs questionnaire? If she won't you can. You can even answer one for her and then when she does fill out the questionnaire you can compare it to see how your evaluation compares with hers. <p>L.

Do you think your W is trying to take the attention off of what she did by blowing your act out of proportion? I don't get how the two compare, but I guess an affair is an affair and there is no way to jusfity it whether EA or PA. Both are equally as devastating.<p>Still, I don't see why you guys cannot move forward and get on with your lives. Do you think the medication is affecting your wife's moods?<p>How is everything going now? Any better? A day can make all the difference, a week, all the more, especially around here on the emotional rollercoaster ride! [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img]

In my many years with her, and having observed how she feels and describes her mother and father(who ABANDONED her mother many years ago and has not been heard from since) - I gave her what was not meant to b an insult(and I told her as much) but just an observation- I told her she is becoming just like her parents- something she once said she would NEVER do, yet to compare the histories OF her parents to the way she is now- it is not that much of a difference.