Dear friends, This is Wheat again with another problem. Do other people have multiple problems? Well I am going to tell you why my husband has not had sex with me for the last year. He still hasn't forgiven me for not telling him right away in our relationship that I had herpes. Therefore this last year (about 6 or 7 yrs later) he thought he might have gotten a sore. Therefore he did not want to have sex anymore because he is deathly afraid of herpes. I tried to tell him it wasn't a death sentence, but it very hard to convince him of that. I don't know what to say anymore. I will probably live without sex for the rest of my life if I remain married to him. Remember I am just trying to restore my marriage if you have read any of the other problems that I have had. I am hoping some other people with herpes will write me back and tell me what they have done in regards to this dilemma. Again I appreciate any input as this is not somehting you talk about in every day conversation. Thank you for listening. Sincerely, Wheat. [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img]

Dear Wheat, <p>Ignorance is not a reason to delve into porn. Do your research on this subject and present it to your H. Let him show whether this 'great fear' of his is real or an excuse. From what you posted earlier there may be other underlying issues. <p>It makes no sense that your H be addicted to porn (which is full of STD people) and yet have a morbid fear of your illness. Proper knowledge is the first step to remove the fear and put your situation on the right track. <p>However, if he is using this as an excuse, you will soon see it and that in itself opens up another can of worms. At least you will be headed in the direction to find the real reason. <p>Sorry you are having to deal with such hard issues right now. Keep posting, I am sure others will respond. <p>Take Care,
L.

What are the signs of herpes? Is there a test you can take to see if you have it?

Herpes and did you get tested ? http://www.plannedparenthood.org/sti-safesex/herpes.htm is an excelent source. Yes, sex still possible. Porn is different problem. You have to separate them apart. Again, SFantasy is the biggest draw to porn ... could you fill in ?.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by redhat:
<strong>Herpes and did you get tested ? http://www.plannedparenthood.org/sti-safesex/herpes.htm is an excelent source. Yes, sex still possible?.</strong><hr></blockquote><p>whew! Guess I don't have that. Thanks!

I went to PP clinic the moment I found A. I wasn't guessing EA/PA ... I bought condom and hide it at my drawer just in case WW give me some ... 10 month+ and counting ... [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img] . I have 2 D that need me stay healthy.

Well, I suspected I had herpes early on in my marriage. I would have contracted it from my previous long term relationship (who I almost married). At any rate - I had some "stuff" happening and had it all checked out - nada. So I've been assuming I don't have it. <p>Well, just recently I had a nice outbreak and unfortunately the DR didn't get enough from the swab so the tests were inconclusive. However, it's pretty obvious what it is.
I luckily don't get them ON my genatalia -but definitely below the waist.<p>At any rate - here I've been married 12 years. My H has had no signs. Usually avoiding sex during an outbreak is all it takes, however there is evidence the virus can be shed without having any symptoms, so it is not unusual for the partner to contract it as well. Some folks have outbreaks very occasionally - and can go for YEARS without one. <p>There is awesome antiviral medication (expensive) that one can use, and other than being uncomfortable for a few days - it really is not a scary thing at all. Plus if you take the medication at the FIRST signs (the prodromal tingling) you can avoid an outbreak altogether.

Something to look into for anyone who has the virus:<p>My mother has the symplex (I believe) B, that's the herpes virus that causes cold sores (actually, she gave it to me but I've only had the symptoms once, right when I got it). For years, she's SWORN that the smallpox vaccination helped her symptoms (actually caused her to NOT have outbreaks). I know that years ago, DRs discounted this claim, but I believe that some are beginning to come around. I know that they helped my mother becuase if she hadn't had the vaccine in several years, she'd start to have breakouts, and she'd go to the DR and get one, then the outbreaks would cease and not recur for years.<p>For anyone suffering from the STD form of the virus, it may be well worth looking into any research done in this area.<p>Kev<p>[ November 10, 2001: Message edited by: kevco- ]</p>