I notice that you say you are mother of OW. I have not read all your posts, but wanted to know what you think of Moms of OW knowing. If I could tell Mom what their daughter was involved in Do you think that the Mom would appreciate the information.<p>My OW is in her fourties. I am sure the story they (my WH & OW) is that they became involved when we were already in divorce stage. This is totally false and thought maybe OW's mom should know. Maybe to protect her daughter somehow. Maybe her Mom would tell her what she does is wrong. It has passed my mind to write the Mom not to yell but to tell the truth of the relationship and its beginnings. Then I think what if her Mom is not as caring or concerned are you are. Most Mom's are I would think. I would be very upset if my daughters took on relationship with MM.<p>OW knew WH was married when they started to chat on internet. OW is totally obsessed with my husband and has sabotaged all our efforts to restore our marriage. Of course WH is no angel here either! <p>I don't even have an idea who the Mom of OW is, but maybe someday I would find out.<p>[ November 12, 2001: Message edited by: betrayedbeyondbelief ]</p>

I have to say that in my case, my knowing may have made things worse. I didn't know about MB at the time and burned my bridges with my D. If I had known about MB I would have handled it so very much more diplomaticly. I might not have even told her that I knew. I might have talked to her about the situation in a different way. As it is, I can't even think about it in her presents. She needs to be angry with me to fuel her fire, so I give her nothing to be angry about.
You might send a copy of SAA to her MOM, with a note about her daughter.
I wish you well. This is the right place to be. You have the best of the best here and if nothing else, atleast you can be the best you can be.

Just a word of caution here, telling OW (or WH for that matter) parents WILL be seen as a MAJOR LB!<p>I told my WW parents and that's probably the single most hurtful act I could have performed (in my W eyes). If we end up getting a DV, I have no doubt that one action will have been a pretty major contributer.<p>Tread carefully, and good luck.
Kev

BBB,<p>Send the SAA Book and a typed letter to her MOM anonymously.<p>Jo

Thank you all for your reply.<p>I assume the SAA means Surviving an Affair book?<p>This is something I have no intention of doing in the near future. Just a plan down the road. Divorce will be final in less than 6 months and would not even think of sending letter until then.<p>I don't know how I would send letter anonymously since Mom might figure out that I was BS. Everyone in OW's family is most likely under the assumption that we were going through or planning on divorce before OW came into picture [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] And hasn't this story been heard before.<p>My WH's parents know most facts but not all and I do intend to write them. I just need to clear my reputation since my husband is full of unfounded rumors of me. He has stopped at nothing to justify his affair.<p>If our marriage is to end then the truth must be know.