I am new at this. My H had an office fling last year and swears every thing is over. We have been married 22 years. He is my soul. I was part of the problem, dedicating myself to a new position at work. Any way, I have made a commitment to be there for my husband and family. This girl showed up at my husbands brothers funeral, pushed me away and kissed my husband. She thought they were still friends. I was devistated... My H says he has done every thing short of killing her to keep her away from him. They work with each other every day. I called and left her a voice mail at her work that she recieved.... and told her that she needed to get over all this and leave my H alone.... She continues to make her way into our lives.. Is it time for me to call her husband? My husband almost died a month ago, and I had to tell the hospital to keep her away from him. He too, is sick of her. I don't even want him to go back to work. I have changed and he has told me many times that what he did was wrong and regardless of our problems, he should have never done what he did. I feel absolutely insane.... Please can someone help me out here? Should I make more appearences with my husband at his job? Talk to her face to face, all 3 of us talk on the spur of the moment, or call her husband?????? I would appreciate any info or help. Thanks cnuc(Maggie) [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img]

Maggie,<p>I dont want to hurt you, but I read on the OW boards some too. They tend to say if the OW does not go away it is because the man is still giving her hope of some sort. I know there are psyco OW out there too, so its probably a little hard to tell what is the truth. Men are bad at endings. What has he done that is trying everything? Has he written a no contact letter and told her he loves you? Has he filed a harassment order against her? Has he told her that he is telling you everything about their affair and about her continued contact? Has he told her it is over or is he trying not to hurt her and telling her he will always have feelings for her and wants to be friends?Is there some kind of sexual harrasment at in the workplace he can threaten her with, or would he be at risk too. can he change departments or jobs? Has he blocked her number and does he refuse to speak to her?<p>Good luck. I think its hard for me to trust men try to end things cleanly, because I see so many go for the friends thing. My h came home and said he hated OW, but then he was bcak to talking to her. Grrr.
Lora

I have visited the OW (GloryB.com) board also. What Lora says is true. They say that usually the MM encourages them in some way when the wife is unaware, but there is also those OW that are "Fatal Attraction" types. Your OW sounds like she fits that profile.<p>My suggestion, talk to your H and tell him you want to file a restraining order on her as a "COUPLE". Restraining orders, although effective at times, don't really hurt her "record" in terms of law enforcement. It's more of a deterant. It's not as severe as an anti-harassment order, which I don't believe you need. For instance, in the State of WA most times when filing for Divorce, a restraining order is a given unless you decide against one.<p>Just my nickels worth.<p>Jo