After the initial shock of finding out subsided I found that I had become emotionally dependent on my h.I had always thought of myself as being independent. I had my own job, my own friends and we often, for various reasons, took separate holidays. I had no idea that my h had a separate life with another woman. I thought he had never shown any interest in other women and I believed that if and when he did find someone else then he would tell me and he would leave me and live with her. I trusted his integrity. So when eventually found out that he had kept a secret for many years I was deeply distressed.I found to my surprise that I became almost child-like in my need for his affection. It is not a pleasant feeling.I read in a book that when trust is gone only dependency remains. I really dont understand why this should be so.Has any body any ideas ?

H2O,
That actually makes since. I mean after all you've built a life with this person. Even if you are independant, you and your husband become interdependant. Doesn't that make since. I'm not married, but I have long term relationships and that's the way it works. <p>I liken my long term relationships to a thick rope. If one thread breaks [trust] its likely that the others remain. You've built those threads together. That's why long term relationships are not easily unraveled.