I signed papers today for a D. It was not my decision by my H. He feels he needs time to get over being angry at me for lack of honesty with him. The thing is, he says that you never know, we could get married again someday. If that is the case, why can't we just have a seperation for a while and have a cooling off period. I just can't understand it all.<p>We are in counseling. I have been a lot more than him. He seems to be running away from the problems because he keeps leaving town and doing fun things each weekend while I am here tending to the family and doing things at home. I guess I need to find my own activities and begin a new life, but I really don't want to. How do you begin a life new when you have confessed, apologized, and done all you can to make things better. <p>I know I will survive this all, but it just doesn't seem possible at this moment.

Sad and Sorry, I haven't read your story so I don't know what to say. Are you the BS or the WS?

Dear sad and sorry,<p>I know a couple in which the wife was the WS. BS filed for divorce and on the day the divorce was to be final, they decided not to go through with it. They now have a new baby and are fully recovered. There is still time for you. Don't give up.<p>Estes

I am new at this forum stuff and am not sure what BS and WS stand for. Regardless, I am the one that caused the problems in the marriage.
I hope my situation ends up as Estes friends. I want us to be together because I know we are good together. We have had our problems, but I have been in counseling and have learned a lot about myself and why I did what I did. I just wish he could see that and realize that our marriage is the most important thing to me and to our family. If the D does go through, I will only hope that one day we will be back together. We have both agreed to spend time together with both families, go out, etc. Seems weird, but I know it will be that way. I suppose only time will tell.

sad and sorry, <p>Here are two links that will be helpful to you as a new member.<p>Welcome package: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum37/HTML/009007.html <p>Acronyms: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000557.html <p>Have you read Surviving an Affair by the Harvey's who established this forum? If you haven't, do so ASAP. It is very helpful. You can order it here or find it at a bookstore. I found mine at my local Christian bookstore.<p>Also, have you posted on the Divorce and Divorcing forum here? Maybe people there can help. You might even ask in Recovery if there are people who have recovered even though they initially signed D papers. I know that many couples who sign papers don't actually go through with the D.<p>Are you familiar with Plan A? If not, study the concept on the main website under the Articles section, and start Plan Aing your H right away. It is originally for the BS, but helps everyone. Maybe you can convince him to avoid taking a drastic step like finalizing the D until he has had more time to recover faith in you. Can you convince him to give you two months to prove you have changed? How much time do you have before the D is final?<p>Wishing you success,
Estes<p>WS - wayward spouse
BS - betrayed spouse

We've read all the books and articles, forums, etcs. I just didn't know the codes being used. THanks for the help. I will keep reading and hope that one day all things will settle - one way or the other.