hi all first off still here still pregnant (blah)<p>ok my problem now is this <p>being at Dday anniversary this time frame seems to set of LOTS AND LOTS of triggers for me.
Also i find myseif remembering things about H's EA that i had forgetten or put aside for a while.
this of course serts off a whole new bag of questions and triggers and sets me in the depression mode etc.<p>so im wondering do i keep all these new emotions to myself or should i share them with H?
OW isnt brought up that often and when she is its usually H's doing
example.
last night<p>H said if things had gone further with me and OW we wouldnt be having baby now because we wouldnt be together.......<p>my interpretations of this conversation is either
A) he knows i wouldnt being trying to work on our M because i wouldnt be able to handle a physical affair.
( these are my own words to him)
or
B) he would have left on his own to be with her.<p>i didnt bother asking him which was the reason because frankly right now im so moody, miserable, depressed etc that i dont even care.
i associate this with the pregnancy hopefully my emotions will improve when my hormone level returns to normal.<p>H doesnt know how his EA has mentally effected me i tried to tell him once or twice that i felt i needed medication but he blew me off so i dont bother sharing my feelings with him.<p>overal i find myself biting my tongue more often than not
so should i be radically honst with his deaf ears or should i keep these thoughts and feelings to myself?<p>i know this is a choppy post sorry all

You're so right in that you're extra moody b/c of the pregnancy. Some of the issues you have may be blown out of proportion because of those awful hormones that are a ragin'! (blech!).<p>Would it make you feel better to know that I was 7 1/2 months pregnant with twins when H told me he was no longer interested in marriage and wanted out? Oh yah... (Karen's vent time..hehehe)... and 9 months ago today, I was having an emergency c-section b/c my blood pressure was so elevated due to all of this EMA [censored]!!! AUGH!!!! [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I'm able to look back now, and see that there were so many issues that weren't as bad as I had made them out to be. Granted, it took a few months of post partum healing to see that.<p>How would your H react to you telling him that you need to 'let it out' to him? Appologize before and after the vent session, and telling him that you just need him to hear what's on your mind (not necessarily give any feedback). I've done that with my H a few times. I did my darnedest to use as many "I" statements as I could.. but it didn't always work (sigh!).<p>Another thought is to write him 2 letters. The first one, full of LB's. Go nuts with them! Get them out of your system! Then DO NOT give that letter to your H. Write a 2nd letter, using proper MB principles, and explain to him how you're feeling right now.<p>The reason I suggest the letter(s), is b/c due to your hormone 'issues' (LOL), it would be safest for all concerned (heheeh).<p>I hope you don't take this as me taking your post lightly... b/c I'm not. There are obviously things you need to sort out with your H. But IMO, (assuming you're a not so nice to be preggo woman like me... lol), you won't be able to trust your own actions and statements. Especially now with the clock watching you must be doing waiting for the baby to make it's appearance.<p>I hope you get more ideas on here. Goodness knows, weekends are slow on here (sigh!). Funny... it's on the weekends that I usually have my issues too. Wierd, huh?<p>Karen

hmmmmmm