Hope you don't mind - going to do some thinking out loud.....<p>I've been thinking about what I should be doing for the next few months. Plan A is going strong right now. For Thanksgiving, WW and I are going to a friend of hers for dinner - she admits she's "uncomfortable" about it, but is still seemingly quite willing. I suggested to WW that we go away somewhere for Friday through Sunday too. (I'd love it if it were a romantic getaway if you know what I mean, but it'll just have to be a quiet time to relax, hopefully avoid serious talk.) So in the short term, there's some good stuff possible - able to focus on her, able to show some charm with her friends, etc.<p>Now, Christmas is another story. She's stressed out about it. Going back home to see family. She says she hates the idea - I (and the therapist) suggested considering going somewhere else (Hawaii?) - but she's convinced we have to go home - her mom would kill us! Okay, so my vision for Christmas is to go home, have a great time, be "normal" around everyone, in fact, be the kind of charming guy I want to be in my personal vision. Again, show her what's possible - I think she's got it in her head that her parents and I aren't all that close - holy cow do they love me - fog-thinking on her part. She also admits she doesn't want to face my parents. A fear in the back of my mind is that she'll crack during this time - oh well, that might be for the best in some ways!<p>Other things I think I should do in the next 2 months. Focus on developing a broader base of friends and aquaintences. Haven't had time, frankly, with busy times at work. Work friends have been great, have done a couple of things with them, but I'm thinking more along the lines of outdoor clubs, etc. - people who live closer to us - people neither of us know - most of the people I work with live >1 hr away. This would project more of an independent image to her - something I think she values in OM, and something I haven't had for a long time, if ever with her. It would also be interesting to put myself in an environment where there are other girls - make her realize that if she goes, I could be snapped up quickly. (As much as she thinks she's okay with me "moving on" - my gut tells me she's fooling herself - I've seen streaks of extreme jealousy in her - in the past anyway.)<p>So now it's January - she's still fence sitting likely. She's seen a whole lot of great things from me. She's had plenty of opportunity to make up her mind. I'm already getting tired of this now - I can only imagine how I'll feel then. (5 months of not having any of my EN met - I'm not a machine.)<p>I think as I've described it, I'd have set myself up for Plan B quite well. Even now, she was away by herself for a day and came back feeling like she's been unfair to me (but that passed [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] ) - so I feel pretty confident that full-blown Plan B would be effective - although yes, I agree that it's for me - to protect me. Just making an observation - her behavior does fit the mold so to speak, I think. (Although trying to predict human bahavior is pretty pointless I suppose.)<p>I think I'm being too analytical. But I can't help it. It's a weakness in some ways. I can't predict the future, but this feels more like planning my funeral - you know it's going to happen, so might as well prepare sometime!! (Or maybe she'll just spontaneously jump out of the fog... ha ha ha ha!)
