H came round last night - asked me yesterday if he could stay the night - I said, of course. <p>We met for coffee, then went out to dinner which was lovely. Afterward, went to a local pub and had a few drinks, then came home to sort out some bills and a few other tedious things. <p>He said last night that he misses me and he sometimes gets bored. I asked him, jokingly, if he had broken up with the OW yet and he said no, which is what I figured he would say. Other than that, we had good conversation, a few laughs and I managed to keep it upbeat. We touched on the issue of counselling briefly. He has been telling me that he wants to do IC first and then go into MC with me. But so far he hasn't managed to sort out a counsellor for himself. I realise he is scared, but I SO think this needs to be done. The guy is really messed up at the moment and keeps telling me how he has no emotion and feels numb. I am fully aware of his evasion tactics and know that he just doesn't want to "deal" with anything. I am also aware that he will do this in his own time and I need to be patient. Hard to do when you love someone so much. I feel like I'm just sitting back and watching him linger over the self-destruct button. It breaks my heart. <p>Anyway, he did spend the night. We didn't have full-on sex, but dabbled in...erm...other things. (the way to a man's heart isn't through is stomach, let's just put it that way.) He was fine when he woke up this morning. Seemed very comfortable being here, helped himself to yogurt and I made him some coffee. When he left, I got a huge hug and a rather lingering kiss. As he walked out the door, I said "Love you". Almost instantly, he said it back. <p>I was stunned. He's not said this to me since Dday. I don't really know if it was said out of habit or if it was genuine. I didn't ask. I just let him go, closed the door and pondered. <p>So I guess I did okay, but still wondering about the "I love you" thing. He did ring me about a half hour later to tell me he'd missed the bus. Normally, he wouldn't bother, but he seemed cheerful and upbeat, so I'm assuming he didn't kick himself for saying I love you. But then I also assumed he wouldn't cheat on me, so there you go. <p>I guess I'll just carry on doing what I'm doing. I'm getting stronger every day and have definitely seen the effects of Plan A. I just can't help but think that if he gets his bum into counselling and is honest with himself, that fog will blow away quicker than you can say twister.<p>I pray everyday for clarity to be brought to him. I pray that he will stay safe and sane. I do honestly believe that his car crash was sent from above. I know that sounds horrible, but he wasn't hurt and it shocked him into *some* sort of emotion. I read something on another thread that made me laugh. Someone please send an angel his way to give him a good B**ch Slap!<p>Lots of Love, and Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!<p>venusenvy
