It's been over three weeks since my D-Day. Since that time, we've taken a great weekend trip, I turned 30, and she went back to see him. Day after my birthday, my W left to go to a conference about a hour away from where the OM lives. I cracked her email password and found emails indicating that she was going to see him. I called her and told her what I did (this was a week ago). She decided to come back that Sat. She has called and told her parent and close friends about the A. She called the OM on Tuesday and told him it was over and not to contact her anymore. I still can get into her email and I know that she hasn't responded to his attempts. He has basically stopped. Now is the perfect time to jump back into Plan A, but I can't seem to muster the strength to do it. I've recently been put on antidepressants, but they say it will take about 2-3 weeks to take effect. I'm in such a slump. This last betrayal hit me hard. Talking with my W, I understand the A has more to do with her own self-destructive behavior that anything with me. I'm trying so hard, but I cannot find the strength or concentration to do much. I'm worried that I'm pushing her away. What can I do?<p>You don't have to smile at me
don't have to talk
All that I ask is you
stop and remember
it isn't always this way.
--Yo La Tengo "The Crying of Lot G"

burns1471,
Block his email, most of email services allow you to block it.<p>Talking with my W, I understand the A has more to do with her own self-destructive behavior that anything with me.
Then it is easier to do plan A ... just be yourself. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I'm trying so hard, but I cannot find the strength or concentration to do much. I'm worried that I'm pushing her away. What can I do?
Don't try so hard ... just be yourself and be there for her since she needs your strength more than ever ... she will be in withdrawal for a while.<p>Burn, you could do it ... when she opens up, it also ok to let her know your feeling but short of LB !!!. Let her know how hard it is and you are willing to work with her together to get through this. You need each other now than ever. Get busy to read FILSIL together.

Hi, <p>Since the meds are not working yet, does your W allow contact with you via touching? Small steps, small hugs and gentle kisses to start. You need reassurance at this time to make it through. What is she able to do for you? Have you taken the emotional needs questionnaire? Do some reading to regain your strength. Refocus your attention. <p>I will find my thread on the 5 stages of grieving so you can see where you might be right now. This may help you overcome the slump you are in. <p>Here it is: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum34/HTML/002494.html <p>
Hang in there. You will survive.
L.<p>[ November 22, 2001: Message edited by: Orchid ]</p>

burns<p>Hang in there. You are strong get your strength for us here. We are here for you. She will come around. You have gone too far to give up now. The meds really could be helping. They helped my WH the first week.<p>You can Plan A her again you did great in the begining. Just start and tell yourself you are doing this for you.<p>My WH is comming around (read post in recovery THE WORD MEAN..) <p>It can work and this is the place to be. I have been following your post and feel you are about to see result for all your changes.<p>Stay strong and let me know how you are doing. post or email me and let me (us here) know.<p>I have faith in you.<p>
SLH