IM A MARRIED WOMAN WHO HAS HAD SEVERAL AFFAIRS. I DONT KNOW WHY I DO IT. I LOVE MY HUSBAND SO MUCH . HE IS WONDERFUL. HE MEETS ALL MY NEEDS AND MORE. I HAVE RECENTLY BROKE IT OFF WITH MY LOVER,WHICH WAS HARD. HE UNDERSTOOD,BUT SAID IF ME AND THE BOYS NEEDED A PLACE TO STAY I WOULD ALWAYS HAVE A PLACE.I COULD NEVER LEAVE MY HUSBAND. [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img]

Crystal,<p> If I am not mistaken I have seen you on here before. Well, like I said the last time you came to the right place. I will also like to say that you made the right choice for you and your kids. I really can't give any advise for you, but I just wanted to welcome you again to MB.<p>Indy

Crystal,
I remember you as well. And since you have re-committed to your marriage, I would say that you're on the right track....<p>But I would also think that some of your needs were not being met. If they were, why would you have looked elsewhere? For me, it was a lack of sex and my H was deeply depressed for a period of several months and our relationship suffered. I think you need to ask yourself what OM offered you.

There surely is something terribly wrong if you love your husband very much and your husband meets all of your needs and more. I would suggest strongly that you get into therapy at once to understand why you are engaging in such self destructive behavior. Ask yourself how you would feel if your husband engaged in the same type of behavior as you do? Why do you humiliate and disrepect him in this awful way. In addition, ask yourself how you will feel when your husband finds out and you end up in a divorce.
This is why I implore you to get into therapy at once. There are some people who are so psychologically screwed up that they are unable to function unless there is great drama and upheaval in their lives.<p>If you do not seek therapy then you will no doubt continue this pattern of behavior. I hope you can be honest with your husband and give him the option of wanting to be with you and working on your marriage. If you do not have honesty in your marriage then you have nothing. If you love your husband then you should tell him of your activities and have both of you tested. Please seek therapy at once and stop hurting the people that love you. I know that you have not totally lost your moral compass. Be honest with yourself and your husband. Good Luck.