Well.....things seem to be going fairly well with my WH and I. We've had a few ups and downs lately....but more ups. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I had posted about my Wh not wanting to go to the company Christmas Party this year....but not really telling me why he didn't want to go. He finally told me that he didn't really trust that I wouldn't do anything if the OW was there.<p>We discussed it...and I think he finally trusts me enough to know that I wouldn't embarras him like that in front of his friends and co workers. Plus I told him that this was my opportunity to prove to him that I am better than that and that I will not stoop to her level.<p>He agreed that going would be good for both of us...so we are going. He also made plans for his parents to keep the girls overnight instead of just for a while...as we had previously asked them to. Not sure what is up with that....since we live with his parents right now....not sure where we will be staying overnight....but when I ask he just smiles and says....somewhere.<p>On another note....I did a little bit of snooping....not proud of it...but felt the need to. I called my WH's cellular provider and asked them how many times the OW's cell # and home # had been called. The last time either of her #'s should have been called was when I called them from his cell phone on September 29....and guess what.....neither of those #'s have been called since then. He hasn't been getting voice mails from her and she hasn't been calling him either.<p>We are having a bit of trouble though....call it misunderstanding if you will I guess.
It seems that our views of affection are different. He sees sexual gestures and SF as affection.....I do not....I see them as well....sex.<p>How do I get him to understand that they are 2 different things?
I'm starting to get frustrated over this whole thing as we agreed that sex was not everything....and now his patterns are going back to what they were before he had the A. <p>The constant insinuation of it is wearing on my nerves. I feel that that is all I am wanted for....but I know that he sees it as showing me affection. It's causing me also to being annoyed at his behaviour....constantly grabbing me in places....seeing that as affection....and me feeling neglected at the same time.<p>Does anyone understand this?

Hi Miss Priss,
Regarding the Xmas party--I have 2 next week where the OW will be. My advice, look good, smile, and keep your expectations about your H's behavior kinda low. Last year my H was very uncomfortable with the 2 of us being not only on the same planet, but in the same room. I've...er..in that past said very threatening things about her, but I promised as long as she didn't say anything to me, I would not initiate anything with her. I think she is wary of me, (could have been the inadvertant flames shooting out of my eyes as I first recognized her--but after that she did not exist for me) And she definitely did not approach me. Though the second party she seemed to gravitate to being in my line of vision... [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img] I continued to circulate and turn so I wasn't looking at her.<p>I was given some great advice last year, in a nutshell, remember that you are a Diva [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] , keep your head up and shine. <p>As for affection vs sex, that seems to be almost a male/female thing. I find if I give affection and profusely & verbally appreciate returned affection, that my H is more affectionate. Does your H understand the concept of Emotional Needs? It might be worth another "reminder" if he does.

Not sure what else to say. I agree with Lor about the male/female affection thing. <p>Just compliment him more when he does the write things, and lead by example.<p>Glad to hear things are going better for you!!<p>HbH

Hi ! Miss Priss !<p>Congrats - ( I haven't been here for a while - good to hear what is happening).<p>The best thing for my H & I was to use the MRA (Marital Recovery Agreement) - I retyped it from either SAA or HNHN. We revise it quarterly. We finally hit - one EN the same - YaaaaaHooooooo. <p>You are going to have to talk about it - honesty - and learn to work it through.<p>I know about the snooping - my H knows his briefcase or daytimer can be hit at anytime. I know how hard it is to keep away - but you just have to reassure yourself - sounds like your H is on the mend too.<p>Things are getting better with us too. Some of the humor is finally coming back.<p>Good to hear from you. lv, aftershock