I have not had contact with ws in 3 weeks. She sent cards to the sons at t'giving about eating with her but did not follow up. I took pictures to send in her weekly check. WS went back to Europe again, I suppose to see OM , I don't know for sure and really don't wish to know. Last phone call was about business and all she would say is that she doesn't want to be married to me any longer. I told her that the lawyers would have to negotiate the settlement. I do not wish to spead it up or make it easier for her. Her friends continue to contact me with the same statement that she misses home and the sons esp. Says she still has feelings for me. I can't get that kind of reaction from her. I have been sending "missing you" cards most weeks to let her know that the door was open. Thoughts were to write a long letter since most talks wind up with her shouting at me. Could send flowers to her office or do nothing and see if she caves . Could the Hartleys help me if I did a counseling session? Do I send her a Christmas present? I am really lost about what steps to take.

I would suggest a session with the Harleys. I don't know what else to say....I'm leaning towards doing nothing, you've told her you miss her, that the door's open, maybe that it's NOT too late.<p>Try to identify YOUR part in the deterioration of your M that probably left the door open to the A.<p>Most of all, read everything on this site.<p>Good luck, man. Others will be along to help.
Kev

Hey Pace. Are you in plan A or plan B? If you are in plan A, then, yes: send her the gifts, get her a present, do all the other stuff you mentioned.<p>If you are in plan B,then do nothing, try to forget about her and work on yourself and the things you do not like about you.<p>HbH

I did the plan B for about 2 months then her best friend told me that ws thought I hated her and she was so confused. Friend suggested I try to plant a seed, so I sent the cards and took her out one time. Nexxt time I asked her to eat she refused. Have continued with cards. In plan A again.