While my WH and I seemed to have a great weekend....this morning things seem to change....at least for me. Trying to figure out if it's just me....or something I should be worried about.<p>Over the weekend my WH and I think that that OW tried to contact him on his cell phone. Not sure since he turned his phone off and no calls came in after that.
Sunday morning the OW's XH called here to his parents house to ask us which one of us slashed her tires Saturday night. Neither one of us did it. Wouldn't surprise me if she didn't do it herself to get attention. My WH said the same.<p>Now....I'm wondering if he just says these things to make me think that he knows how she really is.<p>I set the clock again and checked it like I always do on Sunday night. 15 minutes fast.
I get to bed and again it's 20 minutes fast.<p>He woke up this morning and again left so early that it puts him at work a half hour early. This just recently started....has happeneded about 4 times now and it's really making me suspicious and I've told him this. He tells me that he isn't clocking in until 4:45.....so why get to work so early. None of his workers are there yet.<p>I've told him over and over that this is what gets me to thinking that he is doing something and is why I feel like I have to question him when he comes home. I feel like I have to question him because the OW is going in at the same time as him....yet he is leaving early. He normally doesn't go in this early....but they are a little backed up and don't want to work through their Christmas break.<p>He doesn't seem to understand that this follows his original pattern of everything being ok and then he either starts staying late or going in early to spend time with her....telling me that he HAS to work overtime or that he is staying over to talk to his buddies. He isn't doing that now since they aren't even there. This may not be what he is doing.....but it sure makes me think.<p>I'm also so tired of this whole cell phone thing. He says he needs it in case his truck breaks down....which is quite possible. But he doesn't need to have it on during his breaks and on his lunch break....yet it's always on when he is in his truck. I know that he isn't calling her from his cell phone....but I don't know that she isn't calling him and blocking her #.<p>So it all comes down to this. I know what I will and will not put up with now. BUT.....if he is in withdrawl am I going to get through to him about what all this makes me think? <p>I know that he's told his best friend that he doesn't want to mess this up this time and that he wants to be with me and the girls.....but he thinks that I should let certain things slide. I can't let these things slide. I need him to account for his time and I need him to be honest enough to tell me if he is talking to her again. I've proven to him that he can tell me things without getting mad and thanking him for being honest.....yet somehow I still don't think he's telling me everything.<p>I'm so tired of dealing with the whole OW situation that today I'm thinking of just leaving myself just so I won't have to deal with it anymore....but that is right now.....later or tomorrow I will change my mind again.<p>He needs to either [censored] or get off the pot.<p>[ December 03, 2001: Message edited by: Miss Priss ]</p>

Hi MP. Just wanted to say, I hear you. Glad you could come here and vent a bit.<p>I don't really have answers for you. I'm pretty much in the same boat. The WH wants you to trust them, yet they give no reason to!!<p>I think it's obvious that your fears are coming out in the words you write. Don't leave, your H hasn't given you any reason to leave, you would just be giving up. <p>And, I KNOW you are NOT a quitter!!<p>Let it slide for a while. Are you in MC? If so, then definately bring this up and see what happens. If not, then I'm not sure what advice to give. Wait for a really good time between the two of you, and simply use I statements to tell him how you feel and what you would like.<p>I know you probably have already done this, if you have, then you don't want to nag him about it either.<p>It's so tough. Keep working on you until he is ready to do these things. When he's ready, he'll do it.<p>I know that's what I keep telling myself, and it has been happening for me, although very
S L O W L Y.<p>Hugz,
HbH

Miss Priss~<p>I remember that my husband (ws) wanted my trust. It was really hard for him to know he was the one who blew any trust from me. <p>As far as him leaving for work early maybe he is testing you. Too see if you have any trust for him. <p>He will in time understand that you will trust him. But also it will take time for you as well. The trust won't be the same as blind trust, just open eye trust.<p>Continue to give him the trust of yourself with whatever he may tell you. He knows you have shown that you are able to handle what he has told you. But maybe there are things he doesn't know how you will react to more personal information regarding the affair. Believe me, there are things I wish I didn't know. He told you his feelings recently and how he missed there time. I say that is a really good start.<p>You are more aware of things he is doing and also more sensitive as well. I was sensitive and there are things that still set me off. <p>If OW is calling him and pulling stunts like slashing her own tires, then your husband is seeing her for what she really is. She is getting very needy. <p>Since he is in withdrawal, please don't try to teach him, you must let him learn on his own and in his own time in regards to how all this makes you think. Remember the WS also has states to go through that the BS can't understand. <p>Keep up the great work,<p>Judy

After three rounds, I finally went to plan B on Thursday. Every time, I gave him back trust that he didn't deserve. And every time, he continued contact even though he said that he wasn't. He just keeps getting better and better at hiding it.<p>My advise is trust your intuition. Everytime I really started thinking something was going on again, it was.<p>Prayers are with you!<p>Le

Maybe your clock is just fast.

No real words of wisdom here. It just seems that you are doing a great job. Hang in there. <p>I know my H's moods affect me greatly, although he does not see it. Whenever he is in a bad mood I start to wonder what he is thinking, doin etc. <p>Have to learn to remember that they are going thru alot of stuff too right now.