So many of us seem to be extra down on everything right now. Personally, I think the added pressure of the holidays has alot to do with it. So many extra pressures. Need to try and be cheerfull for the kids and give them a good holiday. Dealing with facing people at parties, and for me dealing with pressure from family, parents and stuff. They know, even though I have'nt told them everything, they just know. They want me to fly home for Christmas, but I just can't do it. It's hard enough to go thru the motions for our son. I just don't have the energy for alot of other people.<p>So I think the time of year is taking an extra toll on all of our emotions.

needing-<p>I understand the emotions you are describing. They really hit me hard this weekend. To think that I would be spending Christmas with someone that really doesn't want to spend time with me...<p>The other night WW and I went out to eat and to do some shopping for the kids. There were ground rules of course, no holding hands, sit across from each other rather than next to, etc. It was a nice evening but we were not really able to 'share' it if you know what I mean.<p>When we got back to pick up our kids from our friend's home, I saw their dog and called it over. I couldn't believe how much love and attention I was giving that dog for a few minutes. It seemed happy, at least as happy as a dog could seem, to receive the time and attention. I didn't want to stop, I just wanted to be with someone that I could share my time and attention with and not feel like I was making them uncomfortable. I almost cried while playing with and hugging that dog. Oh, I wanted to have the chance to share that with kind of attention and happiness with my W.<p>Sorry, this got long. I just wanted to say, I know how tired you get. I keep looking for the positive things and keep working on myself but I do get lonely, even though I'm not alone.<p>HoFS

Needing,<p>It tough for all of us. This will be my last x-mas with WS. Papers have been delivered from me. Being the BS, my WS took this holiday away from me. I will make sure that the kids have a great holiday, but it's not the same. I don't enjoy the x-mas music like I used to. I'm in no mood to put up lights or the tree. I know I'm not the only one, but you have to do for the children. Remember - it only gets better.<p>
HoFS -<p>You know, you don't have to say sorry. I think all of us feel this way one time or another. My WW has been calling me superdad (in a mean way)for the past 6 months because she thinks I am treating the children with more attention. Plus, the lack of attention from her. Well, it's because they need it now more then ever, plus as much as I love them and show them that, I need the affection that has been missing in my life. <p>Dino