Hi all i think im going to get flamed big time for this,
Friday night i went out with a mate, just to a pub for a few drinks.
Wasent looking for anything, wasent interested my mate had been seeing a man in the area a few times.
Anyway this man turned up at the bar with a mate,
didint think much about it as one of my mates other mates had a thing about this chap (Shes married.<p>Anyway as the night wore on i could feel this man was looking at me, you know how it goes everytime you look there looking at you.
eventualy he came over to chat and he was so sweet.<p>Anyway long story short the four of us went back to his flat for a drink.
He was so nice i admit we kissed and im totally out of order, but it felt sooo good to be wanted, its been so long since H treated me like that.<p>I know it was out of order and i do feel bad, part of me feels good just for the flattery of it (he was a lot younger).
And it was nice to just me me again for a short while, its the first time i havent thought of where H is and what he is doing in 17 months.<p>I know i was wrong but it felt good.
Liz

Yep, you sound human to me. I bet it was nice to feel desired...to feel chosen. You recognize what you did was wrong. Don't beat yourself up about it but if there is any chance for your marriage to survive you can't continue this relationship...but that doesn't guarantee your marriage will work either. You are the only one standing for your marriage - it will dissolve if you stop - but then again it may dissolve anyway. That is the risk we take. I think it may give you a little compassion of what your H may be going through - the good feeling you get for feeling desired. Anyway, you sound like your brain is attached to your action whereas your H sounds like he is in the fog and thinking with his ____________________________.

Hi Notheard thanx for not being to hard on me.
you were one of the first to post to me when i found MB back in june.
So your opinion counts a lot, and yes it did feel very good to feel desired, its been a long time.<p>I love my H very very much but just how much longer i can keep giving and getting nothing i just dont know.
Thanx for your reply

lizzle, I agree with notheard. You know what you did wrong, you see it for what it was, so don't beat yourself up over it. Just don't let it happen again, unless of course, you have given up on your marriage and you are ready to move on.<p>Hugz,
HbH

ohmigod! You are playing with FIRE, girl! I started dating 5 weeks after my H of 20 years walked out and was hopelessly, MADLY "in love" inside of a month. He filled all those needs that had been so sorely neglected by my H and I became infatuated like a teenaged girl. <p>I ended up marrying Mr. Rebound 4 months after my divorce was final and we have been through hell and back ever since [it is working out now, amazingly]. The truth is that you are probably way TOO vulernable to enter a relationship when you are still grieving about your marriage and are likely to make HUGE mistakes because of your vulnerability. Please be careful!

Count me among the met/married too soon group (How come you and I haven't become fast and furious friends, MelodyLane?).<p>I met my current H within months of filing for divorce and we were living together before both divorces finalized (my final date was 13 days after I got here). We were married several months after his did...<p>I won't say it's *all* been hell, but a LOT of it has (circumstances, not us as a couple -- at least in that way there is peace, and we love each other very much)... but boy... we had to grieve our past marriages TOGETHER -- ick, it was HORRID.<p>You are playing with FIRE... be careful, please.<p>[ December 04, 2001: Message edited by: Nyneve ]</p>

Hi all thanx for your replys, and yes i know im playing with fire.
But it feels so good to be noticed as a woman after all this time of feeling so unloved and unwanted.<p>Would it be so wrong to just have a friend, he has suffered badly in love as well, so is not looking for more, and is also way 2 young (31).<p>But then i guess that would make it an EA ??
i know you are all right i am very very vunerable and i feel as guilty as H*** for even feeling good.
Liz

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr> Would it be so wrong to just have a friend, he has suffered badly in love as well, so is not looking for more, and is also way 2 young (31). <hr></blockquote><p>Are divorce paper finalized? Is the ink dry?<p>How's your heart? How are YOU...are you whole? Are you working on your issues?<p>These are the questions I am asking myself...and remember most relationships start out in 'fantasyland.' Reality is another planet. <p>Yeah it feels good to feel good...remember that's why we are where we are...our WSs wanted to feel good and 'start' over...<p>You know this, though...that's why you posted here and expected to be flamed...<p>I hope Freddie posts to you...he's been right where you are...I'm sure he could give you some good insight.

Hi Cali i know what your saying and i understand im being stupid. and i also hope Freddie posts to me if hes been where i am right now.<p>I have tried so hard to win my H back over this last 17 months, i truely love him so much.
But i feel at breaking point im no further for ward with him now than i was this time last year.<p>I dont want an A its the last thing i want, two wrongs do not make a right.
But having said that it was good to feel a small glow of happiness, i am truly sorry if i offended you.<p>But what with the A and my daughters Heroin addiction it was just nice to be the old me for a short while.
Liz

Lizzle...you did not in any way offend me...I am just concerned for you...<p>Hey we BSs all know how good it feels to have someone desire us...think we are attractive...<p>I was just posing some 'think' about it questions for you...it is just too easy to get sucked into something you might regret later...<p>It is so tempting...<p>...I just recommend, for your own peace, to wait until the dust has settled...<p>Cali

Thankyou Cali i know i have some serious thinking to do.
The points you made are a good place to start, i cant believe after all ive been through im even considering this friendship, its got danger written all over it!!<p>Thanyou for your sound advice.
Liz