I and my husband are dealing with a big communication issue. I know this is soo trivial of me to get upset about somehtign like this but it reallu bothers me. Our car is broken down and it has been sitting in the same spot for a week and it just seems to me taht he is not making a good enought effort to get is repaired. My main issue is that he needs to be a man and stop wainting on his dad for help, that bothers me and has always bothered me our whole marriage. it just seems like we have no independence to get anythign done ourselves, when we got the car his dad had to co sign and i am grateful but now we want to trade it in and for some strange reasin the dealership wants his dad to co sign again, i thnk that is so chovinous to boot me out the equation i mean i pay the bill, have stability on my job and a few late pays but who doesn't. no leins or garnishments, bankruptcy either, it just seems like a conspiracy and when i mention it to him he just sits there like a ump on a log. but back to the car needing to be repaired now. well we have been sitting here waiting all week for this dummy to come and pick the car up and he is the most absent minded mech. i hav ever dealt with, so i ask milton do you want me to call a wrecker and get it towed to the dealer, he tells me that he is still waiting to here from the mech. and his dad. I mean really if no one has shown any initiative in a week don't you think it is abuot time to tak things in your own hands. that just blows me up because this could have been taken care of Monday. Now my husband is mad at me because i am mad at him, his dad, and that stupid mech. Am i wrong??? if so tell me??
I am so frustraited because he acts like he has to still wait for his parents blessing. we are adults w/2 kids. it is time out for slowfullness.
give me some advice on the topic if you can. [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img]

You're right.<p>But somehow you have to let go of your frustration and anger over him NOT doing what you believe he should do...'cause the anger and frustration are not a solution...they only add to your problem...<p>Try looking at it from your H's point-of-view...maybe simply ask him if there is anything you can do to help him or to expedite the situation...maybe just what seems to be holding him back? Is he afraid? Is it money? Is it just 'overwhelming' him? Sometimes when you ask supportive questions...come at it from a different angle, you discover something you didn't know...<p>Here is link to a post I made on an excerpt from a book that is very helpful in viewing things differently:
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=37&t=014057

I tried that angle Monday, Tues, and Wed. For the most part we have a delightful marriage and i have never really complained until now. I sit back passive and let him handle things even when i think otherwise. but that is besides the point.
Maybe he does get overwhelmed, but over the course of our marrige I have tried to handle everything finance, bills, kids, etc, just anything that i thought would frustraite him, becuase i knew before we got married that he does not deal with stress well. I have just recently gotten to the point where i can not continue do this on my own anymore. i need some help, i need him to be my hero and rescue me, and it has been explained in so many words, but i think he just gets sick of me talking about things period. so i hold them in and now they have come to a boiling point, i do mean to e selfish but i think it is time he grew up and took care of some things that affect our family. Maybe this will be resolved soon. i just needed to blow off some steam.