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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 218
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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 218
This is weird. And I'm not sure why I'm feeling this way, but I feel this is a HUGE step for my H, so I thought I would share. <p>H has had MAJOR self-confidence issues for a very long time. Like to the point where he can't talk to strangers or start conversations with anyone at all. Very shy. He's always been aware of it, but it's only been the past 4-5 months that he's actually acknowledged that it's a problem and tried to do something about it in a way he feels comfortable with. ie: reading books, self-hypnosis, etc...<p>Anyway, his company Christmas party is tonight. We spoke on the phone this morning and he said he didn't think he was going to go because he was scared. Scared about going by himself and not knowing very many of the 3000 people that would be there. I did my best to offer him support and said that he should do whatever he is comfortable with, but at the end of the day, what would be worse? Feeling crap because he couldn't bring himself to go, or feeling great and scared as a result of going?<p>I guess he's been struggling with this most of the day, as I haven't heard from him. I sent him a few text messages saying "If you want to talk about it, I'm here for you. Do what feels right for you, honey. I believe in you and I have faith in your abilities". <p>Started to get a bit paranoid this evening, as I hadn't heard from him at all. Wondered if he got so scared at the prospect of going that he decided to run to OW for security and comfort. A usual method for him, really. Haven't had a good night as a result of these fears/thoughts.<p>Just got a text message from him (9:45pm) saying "Wow. Glad I came to the party! My confidence work has paid off when made to use it in social situations! Even got on the bus by myself!"<p>It was at this point that I stood up and did a happy dance. This is a very big step for him. He felt fearful of doing something and instead of running away from it, like he usually does, he faced it and did it! And he's happy for the result. AND he texted ME to tell me how happy he was! He was so proud of himself and he shared that with me. <p>God, am I pathetic or what? LOL! WHY has this made me happy? Must be love.<p>Just wanted to share that with someone. Hope some of you can relate to this!<p>feeling silly;
venusenvy

Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 724
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YOU ARE NOT PATHETIC! You are being a supportive spouse. Your H WILL remember that. Big love unit deposits there. Bask in the goodness of it. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>MOM

Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 218
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Posts: 218
You know what? You're absolutely right! I will bask in that, because this is down to me and my Plan A. In fact, he sent me about 5 text messages after that one, telling me about the party and who he was talking to. <p>My response? "Oh H, that is brilliant! I am SO proud of you. Enjoy yourself tonight, honey. You did it! You're a star!"<p>Wow. I may actually be able to sleep tonight without having nightmares. Go figure. <p>v

Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 285
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Proud of him, yeah. But Very proud of YOU!!.<p>Great job. Sounds like a large love bank deposit for him and a small, although important, one for you!!


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